Parenting

Love Marriage or Arranged!

Love marriage or arranged is still a questionable issue among the Indian community. Let me confess, I consider myself very liberal, I myself would want my daughter to hold on a couple of more years to make her decision. No matter how clear-headed the child is he or she still needs a little maturity to make the most critical decision of her/his life.

Is love marriage better or the arranged? What is the basis of a communion between two people? When a man asks a woman out on a date the foremost physical attraction is the deciding factor. So is the case in an arranged marriage. However, in a love marriage timing is important. People are able to spend more time together and get to know each other better. Well! Sometimes, it needs a lot more to be able to get under the skin. When two people are in love, they are at their best to impress the other person. They wear the best clothes; they are at their best behavior and project a lot of things that they are actually not. Our society is structured that way we are expected to be polite in public. It takes a while between couples to shed the veil. Most of the time, even after going out for a few years, when we actually live together, we are in for surprises. Actually, even after living together for almost 25 years, couples are still discovering each other. This is the beauty of relationships and the mystery of a human mind. 

In an arranged marriage similarly the yes or no is based on the appearance of the partner. They then try to know each other in a couple of meetings they have before the final commitment. However, the parents make the background check. Let me not discard the importance of a good family background here and of course the financial stability. People who go for arranged marriages are not at much of a disadvantage as said earlier no matter what it needs a lot of time to actually know the other person. 

I would say in a love marriage, after a few dates sometimes or certain duration of time, couples make a commitment. At any point, couples are not bound by a legal document or a ceremony where as in an arranged marriage its not so. It might appear while people are in a love and not married yet, it's easier to get out of a relationship. But it is not so. Once two people are in love and are committed it takes a lot of emotional bruise to break away.

Love marriage or arranged, it takes two people really responsible honest and committed to succeed. Whether it's a love marriage or arranged, it needs a lot of effort to work a marriage. Getting married is a complete package. One just doesn't marry the person as such but his habits, his family, his emotional problems, his background, his experiences, his career and lot of other things that are required to be dealt with.  

16-Nov-2000

More by :  Meera Chowdhry

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