Humor

Lets Play Resignation- Resignation


Long gone are the days when we used to play hide n seek, house-house, or for that matter doctor-doctor. Shipload of plano games for kids have produced bumper crop of engineers in our country. Next time just inquire, for all you know your plumber may be a civil engineer or electrician an electronics engineer who missed the sight of campus recruitment team and hence, the flight to Silicon valley. Latest fad with our over-aged politicians is to play the game of resignation-resignation. 'You give your resignation' 'No'No first you' 'It is your turn now' 'Why me ? no I wont give'. 'I wont play with you' 'O.K. let me give but promise you wont accept it otherwise I wont play with you'.

We, the people of India that is Bharat are condemned to watch this, sometimes with curiosity often with resigned boredom. Gone are the good old days when Lal Bahadur Shastri resigned merely on the issue of a single train accident, the present day Bahadurs (brave souls) do not endorse taking any such 'escapist route' and bear the brunt of every type with unabashed smile.

Come on man ! let us talk something else. There is politics behind every such demand for resignation. There is politics in giving resignation. There is politics in accepting resignation and in not accepting resignation. There is politics all around us. Gandhi ji said 'Politics without religion is sinful'. We interpreted it our way and brought politics into religion too. There is politics in sports, economics, history, sociology you name it. In short we breathe politics, eat politics, live politics and do politics over death also. This is called 'womb to tomb' theory. Some awakening this, no doubt. We may not be economically, socially awakened but are immensely awakened politically.

When a minister resigns, whole country is abuzz with variety of rumors carefully planted by hon'ble minister himself through his 'chamchas'. The TV channels starved of any meaningful news clamor to get to you the 'Breaking News'. Newspapers compete with one another to hog the first hand account of whatever, wherever, however. There is a full scale battle of statements'counter statements, denials etc. etc. Pat comes the news minister has stopped going to office. He has not visited office for the past full two days, poor files, poorer clients.

I wonder in case I decide to resign, would anything happen ? ..nothing'nothing at all. Except my close family members none would care to send a sympathy message leave alone sparing a tear or two. However, sad it may sound but I am sure of it. Juniors will rejoice, they will get their much awaited promotion now. Seniors will dismiss it with practiced indifference and look for a better and readier yes man. No TV channel, no newsman, however investigative, would bother to report this. My maid nor milkman would bother. I keep brooding for days together what else can I attempt to get into the news circuit. None would cajole, coax or come to discourage me from resigning. File pushers like me get pushed around everywhere. None would ask me to hold on, rethink, reconsider, review. I would gladly wait but none would visit me requesting reconsideration. These 'do nothings' will rather ensure that my resignation is accepted post haste and am relieved of the post by seeking special exemption from statutory notice period. They will exaggerate my shortcomings and predict doom for me forecasting 'had he not resigned, would have to be terminated sooner than later'.

Thinking of this, I am moved both physically and emotionally. Why there are two yardsticks ? because I didn't become a politician, because I was a bookworm, studious on the look out for a decent job to make both ends meet. I did not participate in any strike, dharnas, demonstrations what to talk of leading any of them. I did not subscribe to Hindu-Muslim riots, nor did I raise the bogey of 'religion in danger'.

Now tell me how a camera shy lesser mortal like me can ever get to page three. Playing resignation-resignation is out. What other game ? cricket'?O God ! you know how much politics. Hockey'? same ! may be even worse. Plight of Pillai is known to all. The only option open, I feel, is partying not political party but cocktail party, complete with two three cine stars of present times and a few of yesteryears, few socialites whose matrimonial status should at best be ambiguous, few fashion designers whose sexual preferences should be dubious and atleast one author who may be Indian but should essentially be writing in no Indian language, should be controversial enough even before his first book hits the stand. 

Do not bother about the occasion, it could be anything, how about celebrating my doggy's birthday, followed by a revealing fashion show, sizzling firang dances. Variety of drinks to go with Thai, Korean Italian, Lebanese food. (Indian food ? are you mad ? who eats ? )My friends are assuring and reassuring me of enough publicity to go on till the next such party. I am beginning to believe them. After all by tendering resignation also I am looking for nothing but publicity only. 

30-Mar-2008

More by :  Ravi Pipal

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