Hell's Bureaucracy

The story is told of how a recent entrant at the Pearly Gates was given the choice of selecting the type of hell that he would be staying in. There were different hells for different nationalities to suit the nature and temperament of the inmate. The new Indian entrant had contempt for the desi hell and expressed his desire to choose the hell meant for other nationalities, more particularly an American or European one which should be more comfortable. The Administrator smiled at his choice and, in view of the candidate's previous karma of a few good deeds, gave him the permission to see for himself the comforts in each hell and then decide where he would like to do.

The thrilled candidate first went to the American hell and found that things were really hot there .The inmates were yelling in pain as one after the other instruments of torture were being applied. He got frightened and immediately left for the German hell which could perhaps be better. Here too he found it was terrible as all Hitler's men were manning the bureaucracy of the hell and their efficiency was legendary. This way he checked every European hell and found them all thoroughly disagreeable. He then decided to go the Indian hell where he found thousands of different nationalities waiting in the queue for admission. He was at a loss to understand why innumerable people of all nationalities queued up in front of the Indian hell with tokens indicating a possible time of admission which stretched to several aeons .He then asked the American who was standing in the queue why he preferred the Indian hell to a possibly more comfortable American hell.

The answer he received helped our candidate immediately to make up his mind in favor of the Indian hell :

  1. The population here is too much and there simply is no space inside for freshers. The tokens indicate admission dates stretching to several millions of years. Cool, isn't it ?

  2. The instruments of torture do not work here because they were all bought on the basis of three quotations and the L1 principle.

  3. Even if the instruments worked there were no people who applied them because they would always be on some leave or other and when they attended they shouted slogans demanding more comforts and less work.

  4. The top management is is in an utter state of confusion about running the institution and they have appointed some foreign consultants to suggest drastic changes in the organizational structure. The foreign consultants have been in closed door conferences with the in-house teams who were supposed to supply all the ideas supported by the Harvard jargon of the foreign consultants. Nobody knows when these conferences will end .At least not before they collect the entire year's fees.

  5. The vigilance machinery is quite active and the officials shit in their pants when they are called upon to take any decision because nobody knows when they will be charge-sheeted for the use of their discretionary powers.

  6. The high-fliers of the organization are busy making their careers and have no time for the day to day running. They only make Long Range Plans spanning ten to fifteen years.         


More by :  A. J. Rao

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