Humor

Returns, Returns, Returns


What does a public sector banker do most of his wakeful hours? He compiles returns. Returns of all sizes and shapes ' attractive ,well-cooked and quantitative. "Well-cooked " is the right word. With all these tons of information what do these guys finally do? The top management or the Government authorities or the Central bank authorities or whoever is supposed to be receiving these well-documented pieces ' what do they do finally? Decisions, decisions, decisions ' a fat lot of them must be coming out of them. After all returns are the instruments through which the top management should be gauging the market. Every operating functionary is told that he is a non-performer because he is not submitting his returns promptly. You achieve all your budgets but if you don't submit your returns, you are a black sheep.

Returns are the be-all and end-all of a public sector banker's existence. Submit your returns promptly and nobody will bother you. If you don't, you are in for trouble. You see the top management has to take decisions and cannot therefore brook delays .The top man is impatiently waiting for your blessed returns. The guy who does not submit his returns is effectively blocking the management process. He should be dealt with severely. In all cases the submitter is clearly visible for he is the guy who toils. The recipient is seldom visible; he is one of the numerous entities who are part of the amorphous structure called Head Office/ Corporate office. Everybody seems to be submitting ' at the branch, at the regional office, at the Head Office. The submitter is seldom aware of who actually benefits from the information or where the statement finally ends up. He does not know what happens to the mountains of information he has assiduously built up. He is aSthitha Prajna; it does not really matter what good will come out of his labors. He must perform his Dharma. Has not Lord Krishna told Arjuna that it is not for him to start worrying about the fruits of his actions?

Let us understand the personality of the submitter. First of all, who is the submitter? The lowly officer at the administrative office is usually the submitter. On the face of it the regional manager or the zonal manager or the general manager or some other functionary are the actual submitters for it is they who lend their signatures to them. Are they the real submitters? In a public sector setup it is the lowliest of the lowly who is the real submitter. It is he who is the chef, who adds spice to the dish. In culinary terms he takes the dough received from the branch managers (who themselves are not submitters but lend signatures to them), processes the stuff and makes it into palatable stuff.

Talking of culinary skills, this gentleman is a seasoned cook, who can produce some real stuff out of incomplete data. The raw -material is itself half-cooked and it is left to the culinary skills of this person to make it into an acceptable dish. How well does he do his job? Perfectly is the word.

Considering the tight time-frame within which he is supposed to achieve this near-impossible task he can be considered a wizard who has a way with statistics. Too often he gets 'crisis' calls ' somebody up there orders that the dish be ready within 24 hours. He rises to the occasion albeit grouching; dishes out the stuff and the crisis duly passable submitter. He alone can take the organization forward on its march to growth and prosperity.

11-Nov-2001

More by :  A. J. Rao

Top | Humor

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