The Resume

Wendy Surber
123 Hair Torn Out Ln.
Premature Gray, Ca. 43210
Phone: (805) IAM-INHELL

To get through at least one day without the uncontrollable urge to runaway from home! To improve communication gaps. Such as figuring out what part of "no" and "stop fighting" don't the understand. 

Employment/Experience Summary: 

Current Employment
As of July 21, 1999
Stay at home mom of three beautiful little monsters! 

December 12, 1996
Gave birth to a screaming cat!
Nursed every hour and a half
Used as projectile vomiting target after nursing sessions
Helped her find her thumb when Binky wouldn't work 

December 20, 1995 
After 4.5 hours of pushing, got her big fat head out! 
Functioned on only 4 hours of sleep
Multi tasking 

Additional Experiences 

Line cook
Toilet Trainer
Appointment Setter
Outfit coordinator
Safety Captain
Crossing Guard
Nightly Lock-Down Warden
Activities Director
Kisser of Boo-Boos 


I have learned: 
Showers on a daily basis are possible, when to aim an over nursed infant at the floor, eat after they go to bed, always make sure to have the snuggle blankets in the car. If not, then plan on turning the car around. The sound of a joint popping can and will wake a sleeping baby, no such thing as peeing alone, a bored child is a destructive child, children are drawn to puddles like gold diggers are to rich men with weak hearts! 

Can get all three to adjust to routine changes, know when a stormy fight is going to start (my knee starts acting up), bathe a baby, make dinner, and do the dishes all at the same time. 

Personal interests
Researching the nicest Looney bins to commit my fried and weary nerves. 

Hi! My name is Wendy Surber and I am a stay at home mom with three beautiful little monsters. Raven 5, Skyler 4, and Summer 22 months. My girls give me lots of material! I also like to spend time with my husband after the 7 p.m. lock down time. Not a night goes by that we don't laugh at ourselves and each other. I guess that is what has kept us together for eleven years! If you moms and dads can relate to this story, I love getting email! 


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