The Resume by Wendy Surber SignUp
Boloji.com

Channels

In Focus

 
Analysis
Cartoons
Education
Environment
Opinion
Photo Essays
 
 

Columns

 
A Bystander's Diary
Business
Random Thoughts
 
 

Our Heritage

 
Architecture
Astrology
Ayurveda
Buddhism
Cinema
Culture
Festivals
Hinduism
History
People
Places
Sikhism
Spirituality
 
 

Society & Lifestyle

 
Health
Parenting
Perspective
Recipes
Society
Teens
Women
 
 

Creative Writings

 
Book Reviews
Computing
Ghalib's Corner
Humor
Individuality
Literary Shelf
Love Letters
Memoirs
Quotes
Stories
Travelogues
Workshop
 
 
Humor Share This Page
The Resume
by Wendy Surber Bookmark and Share


Wendy Surber
123 Hair Torn Out Ln.
Premature Gray, Ca. 43210
Phone: (805) IAM-INHELL

Objectives: 
To get through at least one day without the uncontrollable urge to runaway from home! To improve communication gaps. Such as figuring out what part of "no" and "stop fighting" don't the understand. 

Employment/Experience Summary: 

Current Employment
As of July 21, 1999
Stay at home mom of three beautiful little monsters! 

December 12, 1996
Gave birth to a screaming cat!
Nursed every hour and a half
Used as projectile vomiting target after nursing sessions
Helped her find her thumb when Binky wouldn't work 

December 20, 1995 
After 4.5 hours of pushing, got her big fat head out! 
Functioned on only 4 hours of sleep
Multi tasking 

Additional Experiences 

Line cook
Maid
Chauffer
Referee
Toilet Trainer
Doctor
Appointment Setter
Outfit coordinator
Safety Captain
Crossing Guard
Nightly Lock-Down Warden
Activities Director
Kisser of Boo-Boos 

Education 

I have learned: 
Showers on a daily basis are possible, when to aim an over nursed infant at the floor, eat after they go to bed, always make sure to have the snuggle blankets in the car. If not, then plan on turning the car around. The sound of a joint popping can and will wake a sleeping baby, no such thing as peeing alone, a bored child is a destructive child, children are drawn to puddles like gold diggers are to rich men with weak hearts! 

Skills
Can get all three to adjust to routine changes, know when a stormy fight is going to start (my knee starts acting up), bathe a baby, make dinner, and do the dishes all at the same time. 

Personal interests
Researching the nicest Looney bins to commit my fried and weary nerves. 

Hi! My name is Wendy Surber and I am a stay at home mom with three beautiful little monsters. Raven 5, Skyler 4, and Summer 22 months. My girls give me lots of material! I also like to spend time with my husband after the 7 p.m. lock down time. Not a night goes by that we don't laugh at ourselves and each other. I guess that is what has kept us together for eleven years! If you moms and dads can relate to this story, I love getting email! 

wsboogie5@hotmail.com 

Share This:
24-May-2001
More by :  Wendy Surber
 
Views: 1354      Comments: 0




Name *
Email ID
 (will not be published)
Comment
Characters
Verification Code*
Can't read? Reload
Please fill the above code for verification.
 
Top | Humor



 
 
 
 
 
 
 
2018 All Rights Reserved
 
No part of this Internet site may be reproduced without prior written permission of the copyright holder
.