The Tihar Club

There are clubs and clubs, country club promoting Gilli Danda to Gymkhana club promoting snobbery but none can match Tihar club. Tihar is like a rose among flowers. A bright summer sun among feeble stars. Perhaps you are not aware of the popularity Tihar commands and the clamor among politicians, bureaucrats, police officials and international tricksters to gain entry in Tihar.

Tihar has not achieved this enviable status overnight, whole lot of police and jail officials have sweated for it day in day out. Contribution of prisoners in this respect deserves a special mention. Knowledgeable sources confirm that Tihar is indeed a model jail. The privileges and comfort, money can buy, are yours at your back and call. Things difficult at times, to obtain in open market are easily available in Tihar e.g. smack, best of liquor, computers, cell phone victims for extortion and associates for future assignments etc.

Tihar's attractions and popularity is so universal that under-trials are known to have been specially requesting judges to enter the portals of Tihar. It is my ambition in life kind of a thing. Tihar's reputation is as such that petty thieves come out to become boss and bosses graduate to be dons. Dons at first place, do not go to a prison, even when they so decide due to some technical snag, they come out to become multinational. This is what I call post doctoral work. Thus, we all agree that the Tihar is the prestigious institution fully equipped for higher studies and recommended for advance learning among the like minded scholars.

Whenever, you feel atmosphere is monotonous, you can conveniently walk away to forget your blues, to be with nature, listen to birds singing, music of waves kissing sea shore and get escorted back. Last time, some inmates had gone as far as Goa to answer the call of the sea. Looking to the prisoners love for nature, proposal is to make artificial lake, mountains and sea beaches in the jail campus. Thus, prisoners can avail all the facilities, a health resort can boast of, complete with boating, skating, fishing, sking and even the dubious massage. To be with nature, has a very positive and soothing influence on one's mind inspiring fresh schemes and conspiracies.

Prisoners are no more made to put in hard physical labor in jail. Stone-crushing, weaving, spinning, canning are outdated avocations. These are all bourgeois concepts. Now prisoners do it only when face to face with a camera of conducted tour group or are required to sing a duet/chorus. Remember Hindi films when wise viewers promptly realized that now some of these inmates were about to escape.

Often it is said that Tihar is overcrowded. Of course, it indicates soaring fame of Tihar beside proving that Tihar is after all mirror of our society. Overcrowding is everywhere in our society whether it is road, market, restaurants or trains, why single out Tihar. However, Government ought to do something to improve the ecological balance in Tihar.

Prisoners can subscribe to latest glossy girlie magazines and best sellers. They can have music system, video, fax, e-mail, STD( of telephone kind) etc.. The specialty restaurants cater to the gourmet. One can go for variety of continental food. On nominated days one can relish bar-be-cue and sea food. Fast food joints are also doing brisk business.

The great sage Kabir has said our soul is a prisoner of our body and throughout life soul remains restless and longs to meet its Maker. Prisoners in Tihar are encouraged to go dating, have floor show, Jam session, rain dance etc. Atmosphere is pleasant with love, warmth and romance writ large all over. On popular demand, Tihar is slated to celebrate Valentine Day followed by fashion shows and beauty pageants. For serious types Mr. Tihar contest will be there where participants will compete for Tihar Shri and Tihar Vibhushan. A detailed proposal has been accepted of Run-For-Prison group. This NGO will do Event Mgmt for Mr Muscles, Mr. Beautiful Fingers (Pick-pockets) Mr. Beautiful Legs (jail breakers). There is no hassle of Chief Guest. Plenty are available within. This is called self-sufficiency.

In a bid to project our efforts in international field there will be regular friendly exchange programs of prisoners with other advanced nations. Hearing this the clamor for Tihar has increased manifold. Eager aspirants are prepared to give their head for admission in this exclusive Tihar Club.    


More by :  Ravi Pipal

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