Dec 08, 2023
Dec 08, 2023
To Bolo or not to Bolo is not the question ...
Communication is a natural phenomenon. Cosmic intelligence at work!
Let us look at our own body. Isn't it a system of different canals, bones and nerves that communicate with one another in a set pattern and without volition? The mundane "I" that finds its manifestation with the body will simply cease if this communication did not exist. In normal parlance, communication manifests through spoken and written words, gestures and individual perceptions. Communication is also what differentiates us humans from the rest of the animal kingdom. Not that the animals don't communicate! Everything communicates. Even a 'dead' stone communicates; though some may express this communication as an individual perception or vibration.
With this 'common' ingredient of communication emerge the obvious concepts of participation, sharing, giving, imparting, compassion, love and the sense of togetherness and belonging. Communication is also a practical means for alleviating the loneliness that so many people feel in today's society. Indeed good communication skills can help successful endeavors while poor communication can stifle and hamper progress.
Distorted or absence of communication can be the cause of misinterpreting simple facts leading to quarrels, conflicts and even destructive hostilities. Bad communication leads to guesses that in turn are nothing short of misinformation breeding in an information vacuum.
For example, if communication between A and B is bad, even temporarily, A may be lurked into making guesses. The longer this information-deprived time elapses, the less A's "information vacuum" resembles reality. To further illustrate this point, I will use a personal example. I am expected to be back home from work by 7 pm. Now, if I don't communicate with my wife, as the time elapses past this hour, my wife can begin to make false assumptions: "Has he met with an accident, or has he been mugged?" This scenario can be totally avoided, if I make a phone call (communicate) and inform that I am running late.
While a misunderstanding can arise easily between two people - (like in the example above) - a reconciliation becomes easy with a sensible and truthful communication.
With the advent of new technologies in the last century, from radio/television to telephones to Internet, the communication has spread like a virus. Chat rooms, net meetings, instant messengers and more have seemingly made communication easier. I have known people who earlier would never write a single letter, are now glued to their computers to send and receive their 'mail'. Yet, I also find people who, with all facilities at their disposal, take recourse to silence as a means of communicating. The latter proclaim the age-old maxim of Ek Chup Sau Sukh - One Silence, Many Benefits. In psychological terms those who resort to this maxim, in essence, are unable to face realities of life squarely and simply like to avoid situations that call for commitment and responsibility. Then there are people who choose to use the Internet chatrooms and bulletin boards to release their pent up frustrations by 'communicating' what they find difficult in their normal social life.
A simple analysis of communication thus reveals the personality and the relationship of the communicators. The individual psychology of flight and defense, avoidance and participation, cooperation and defiance, love and ego are all projected and indeed manifested through communication. A clear understanding of communication thus becomes an important step towards self-analysis, priorities, character and values of life. By knowing ourselves better first, we become qualified and graduate to understand the other. With this understanding arises the precious capability of recognizing precisely what others mean or feel through their expressions of speech, body language, gestures etc.
While communicating, it is also important to give leeway to the other person - situation in which one person is, may not be same with another. Imagine a scenario where a parent has to communicate with a child, a seller with a customer or two strangers in a public transport etc. In every situation, one sees that the communicators and the inherent nature of communication are uniquely different. By accepting the distinction of the other a basis for developing a feeling of closeness can be formed and the gap of communication bridged. Once the sense of belonging establishes between the communicators, harmony manifests naturally. And, knowingly or unknowingly, harmonious integration may well be the veiled agenda of every communication.
More by : Rajender Krishan
|Understandably, you have exquisite communication skills. I am glad you dusted this article off the archives to make it available to us.|
Love the quote "To Bolo or not to Bolo is not the question".
My father ued to tell me a few things that relate to the above quote:
"What, when and where to Bolo is the question?"
"To understand the impact of what you Bolo is the question?"
"Think before you Bolo is the question"
"But do Bolo when you have to Bolo"