Mar 31, 2023
Mar 31, 2023
by BS Murthy
Benign Flame: Saga of Love – 3
Continued from Realities of Life
It was a two-storied building in a by-lane of Chikkadapally, a rather congested locality in Hyderabad. Its owner, Padmavathi, was a widow in her early fifties. She let out much of the space to bachelors ‘to augment her pension’ as she was wont to maintain.
“Being elsewhere all the while, bachelors are a better bet for they cause much little wear and tear,” she would aver.
Her tenants, for their part, showed an unmistakable preference for her dwelling. With both her daughters married off, and with no one at home, she rarely left the reclining chair in the portico.
“The rent includes watch and ward for the lady doubles up for a watchdog,” the lodgers joked amongst themselves.
And for her part, Padmavathi made it clear to them all that she would suffer none of any nonsense. Though she used to aver that all boys were equally dear to her, she was partial towards Sathyam, her tenant for well over six years. While believing that Sathyam was sincere by nature she felt that others were only behaving not to risk eviction.
Having been held up at his desk in the Sate Secretariat that evening, Sathyam was late in coming to his lodging. Not finding Padmavathi in the portico, he was a little surprised. As he went up, he found an inland letter in the door latch. Realizing that it was from his father, he hastened into his room, and even as he started reading it again, he heard footsteps on the stairs.
‘Oh, she’s coming up; how she craves for news and gathers it as a rag picker would collect rubbish from all corners!’ he thought indignantly.
“What writes Pathrudugaru?” she said panting slightly.
“Usual stuff; we’re Ok, are you Ok?” he replied dryly.
“It’s time you got married,” she said zeroing on the subject matter of his father’s letter, as if on cue.
“He says there’s a match,” he replied reflexively.
“One should get married when still young,” she said, and added as though to justify her plain features. “But do remember the old adage; a lovely wife brings in anxiety for she attracts all and sundry.”
Having given him a bit of her mind, as she left abruptly, as though she were already late for airing the news, Sathyam read the appetizing portion of his father’s letter once again:
‘We all feel there is a suitable match for you. The girl is Ramaiahgaru’s youngest daughter. He works at the Head Post Office here, and is my friend’s colleague. We are all impressed with their family and our astrologer says both your horoscopes match to the tee. Moreover, the girl is very beautiful. If you like her, I would be done with my duty. After all, it’s time you got married. Take leave for a week and come as early as you can. Your mother wants you to spend some time with us.’
“Moreover, the girl is very beautiful,” he read aloud; and repeated again, as an encore to his ears.
He was always particular that his wife should be a beauty; and made that clear to his parents.
Instinctively he remembered Vani, his erstwhile colleague, and his thoughts turned to her. He always wondered whether beauty and grace were at competition in her persona. How he used to daydream about marrying her! However, his desire to cut a figure only made him diffident in her presence. Moreover, his anxiety to impress her with his wit made him only dumb in her audience. While nursing his calf love, he used to wonder about her reciprocity. As though appreciating his fear of rejection, his eyes felt shy to convey his desire while his lips failed to address his love.
‘An arranged marriage brings the woman into man’s life on his terms, which gives a head start to the marital romance, giving a short shrift to the uncertain courtship,’ he thought presently.
He wondered whether this girl - he was disappointed that his father failed to mention her name - could be as beautiful as Vani. However, he couldn’t help wishing that she might be better looking.
‘After all, it’s the woman’s desirability that makes man covetous, moreover, the allurement of woman’s beauty gives meaning to man’s life, and provides substance as well. A man’s job is half done if he has a cute wife for she doubles up, as a beautiful mother to ensure the children wouldn’t be ugly,’ he thought.
Propelled by that welcome prospect, Sathyam boarded the train in beatitude the very next day.
Pathrudu’s message that they would be coming for the pellichupulu that Sunday set the ball rolling at Ramaiah’s house. As the day of reckoning dawned with hope in both the households, Roopa became the center of attention in her home, and the subject of discussion at Pathrudu’s place. Janaki insisted that Roopa oil-skinned before her bath, and left her only after having shampooed her hair with some soapnut water. Sandhya however, descended on the scene when Roopa was still in the bathroom. After her bath, as Roopa wanted to come out, she found herself bolted from without. Readily realizing that Sandhya was playing pranks on her, Roopa began to fret and fume from within. At length, Sandhya removed the latch and rushed into Roopa’s room only to leave her mate stranded in her petticoat. However, it was only after Roopa’s desperate entreaties that Sandhya let her in, and as though for recompense took her into a palliative embrace.
“Soon your PC would’ve a feast for his eyes,” said Sandhya admiring Roopa’s assets.
“That is if you keep me without my sari,” said Roopa trying to loosen herself from Sandhya’s grip.
Debate ensued, with Janaki too joining in, regarding the ‘sari for the occasion’ for Roopa, and finally the consensus emerged in favor of the chocolate silk with a snuff border. After the lunch, as the countdown started, Janaki was at preparing a garland of jasmines to adorn Roopa’s plait as Sandhya toiled to tame her friend’s luxuriant hair. Such was its profusion that Sandhya’s delicate fingers seemed overwhelmed.
“A hair like this is sure to ensnare any soul,” whispered Sandhya to Roopa.
“If my hair has substance, your bob has style,” said Roopa looking back at Sandhya endearingly.
“She would be really lucky if they agree,” Janaki interrupted their mirth.
“Doesn’t she sound like a stuck up gramophone?” said Roopa in jest.
“Getting a girl married is no joke these days; he’s their only son and they’re propertied too. His parents are hale and healthy, not needing their daughter-in-law’s nursing. Moreover, the boy is in the government service, so he won’t be hard up for cash with people lining up to line his pocket; one can be sure about that,” Janaki addressed Sandhya.
“Bribe money is bad mummy, know that from me,” said Roopa mockingly.
“How can it be so when it’s the norm, anyway, as it’s a man’s affair, why should woman poke her nose into it?” Janaki sounded dismissive.
“If man gets the boot, it pinches his wife’s leg, mummy,” Roopa protested mimicking.
“Moreover, his father has five years of service left,” Janaki resumed the resume, “and the boy is just twenty-eight. From what we’ve heard, he has no vices, to name any. He’s neither the club going sort, nor the card playing type. He knows how to count his notes and keep them clean. Well, a disciplined bringing up one may say. Any girl should find him a safe bet to say the least. We’re lucky to come across such a match these days when everyone is going head over heels to go astray.”
Seeing Roopa unmoved, Sandhya thought that the bride was not half as excited as her mother, and felt,
‘She has always been like that, would think of crossing the bridge only when she comes to it.’
When Chandrika joined them, after toying with some special preparations in the kitchen, Janaki said,
“Hasn’t she brought all this about, though by default? Maybe, everything is for our good only, as the saying goes. I’ve been praying that she could make the best out of a bad bargain.”
“Don’t worry about me,” said Chandrika dryly, used as she was to her mother’s deprecation of her condition.
Everything was in position by the time the guests were expected that evening. Nevertheless, Chandrika and Sandhya were barred from Sathyam’s sight lest they should distract his attention from Roopa. However, they might satisfy their curiosity by peeping through the window as and when the party arrived. And Pathrudu did troop in with his party at the appointed time.
After making them seated in the hall, Roopa was ushered in immediately to beat the impending durmuhurtham. As she squatted on the mat, Roopa stole a glimpse of Sathyam only to place her eyelids on guard for the rest of the rendezvous. On the other hand, Sathyam couldn’t take his eyes off Roopa for he found her out of the world. Besides, the very thought that she could be his wife whetted his appetite. He found her exceedingly charming even with her head dropped and eyelids drooped. Savoring her beauty, he noticed the plain gold stud on her shapely nose. He felt a diamond would make her resplendent and thought of presenting her one during their first night.
“Silence isn’t always golden, so you may talk to her,” said Ramaiah interrupting Sathyam’s daydreaming.
“Why embarrass her,” fumbled Sathyam.
Then Ramaiah engaged Sathyam in conversation about his work and times, apparently for Roopa’s ears. However, as Sathyam betrayed his uncouthness and paraded his mediocrity as though to supplement his ungainly look, Roopa was truly put off. Meanwhile Durgamma, Sathyam’s mother, moved closer to Roopa ostensibly to converse, however with the intent of feeling her legs for possible abnormality.
“What do you do in the spare time?” Ramaiah continued his interview, unmindful of Roopa’s apparent disinterest in that.
“I make my meal,” Sathyam said and instinctively looked at Roopa.
Noticing that she tried to suppress her smile, he felt embarrassed, and Ramaiah thought if fit to end his ordeal. As Pathrudu and party left after a while, promising to get back soon, Janaki started her monologue again, if anything, with greater conviction. However, the rest mobbed Roopa for her reaction.
“He’s not for me,” said Roopa shocking her mother.
“Have you gone mad or what! What’s wrong with him? He’s well-built and is not ill shaped either,” Janaki nearly shouted at Roopa.
“Why place the cart before the horse? Even if they like her, it all depends on the dowry they demand,” said Ramaiah to preempt frayed tempers.
Stung by her mother’s reaction, Roopa retreated into her room as Sandhya followed her to confabulate.
“If you were me, would you marry him?” Roopa asked Sandhya.
“I haven’t seen him that way,” said Sandhya, a little surprised.
“And that means, you aren’t impressed either,” said Roopa.
While Sandhya kept mum, Janaki cribbed all along. Roopa for her part prayed that Pathrudu would ask the moon for a dowry, and kept her fingers crossed.
“They Okayed Roopa, without dowry at that,” said Ramaiah, as he came home the next evening, as though soliciting a ‘yes’ from Roopa.
“Roopa, think again, one shouldn’t shun fortune when it beckons on its own,” pleaded Janaki.
“Why not look for another match?” said Roopa sounding pleading.
“But why reject this one,” Ramaiah seemed persuasive.
“I’ve nothing against him but I’m not enthused either,” said Roopa dryly.
“Don’t be hasty, think again. We all feel it’s a fine match, and you know that we wish you well,” pleaded Janaki.
“No, he’s not my man,” said Roopa wishing that they spared her.
“Maybe, he’s a simpleton, but do realize that he’s young and has a long way to go,” said Ramaiah, who seemed to have read his daughter’s mind.
‘If something isn’t presentable at its ninety per cent, it wouldn’t be much different either at cent per cent,’ thought Roopa but to buy time she said,
“Give me some time to think.”
However, after dinner, Ramaiah went up to a brooding Roopa in the verandah.
“If you’re not interested in this match, so be it, but if I don’t show you life as I’ve seen it, I might be failing you,” he said in all earnestness. “Matrimony is a vague hope nursed by the young minds. If marriages are made in heaven, I’m sure the gods would take the realities of life into account. In marriage, it’s only after consummation that couples come to appreciate the true meaning of married life.
In spite of its infinite possibilities, life has its own limitations. As you would realize, mostly it is situational in its reach and breach. As one incident doesn’t encompass life, ardency is not the only opportunity that marriage affords women. As you could guess, maternity is gift-wrapped by heaven for married women. Marriage is so much more than a private affair of the spouses. Know it’s an extension of the family that ushers in a new family. Gratification in marriage is multifaceted as well as multi-sourced, like the success of a child can obliterate a lifetime of parental failures. Believe me; a couple could feel that their life was worth living just for the sake of that moment.
In the good old days, alliances were struck based on parental preferences. One might even say prejudices. Inclinations of the children didn’t count; when married, they were too young to have a mind of their own anyway. I know times have changed, and I’m not holding a brief for the bygone era any more. However, I guess neither the new waves have washed any wisdom ashore.
The doors of opportunities in today’s world have led to the advent of the salaried classes, with the attendant disparity in incomes. Social status seems to have shifted its focus onto the white collared. This insensibly upset the marriage order of yore, amongst the families of the communes. These days every maiden seems to feel that her wedlock is not secure unless engineered by an engineer! Parents too have come to equate their daughters’ security with the sons-in-law’s bank balances.
Every bachelor, forget about his own eligibility, has come to imagine that the bridal world is at his feet, to be kicked at his will. An Alanaskar Syndrome so to say! Well, in his unceasing search for someone better, even the pretty ones fail to get his nod till the law of diminishing returns catches him up by the scruff. Then with his eligibility on the wane and despondency on the raise, he lands up with a languid dame for all the sprightly in the race would have married by then. Of late, boys and girls are getting married past their prime, they being victims of the compulsions of their own making,’ he paused for her reaction.
And finding her attentive, he continued,
“All said and done, nature seems to have loaded the dice against the maidens. One may like it or not, they are the perishable fruits of the marriage market to be disposed off well before they tend to rot. Even otherwise, it does often happen that a maiden would shun a Gog in time, only to opt for a Magog, past her prime, wasting her time in the meantime. In the final analysis, shorn of their shirts, all men are ordinary, save the extraordinary. Moreover, the odds against spotting the right man remain the same even if chance were to bring him to your doorstep as a prospective groom. Ignoring these realities can land one in the deserts of life, chasing the mirages of hope, of course until there is hope. If cultural prejudices produced child widows those days, social aberrations lead to the proliferation of spinsters these days. When maidens cross their mid-twenties, they find to their consternation that men whom nature meant for them by the logic of natural selection, were indeed bending towards the younger ones, tending them to fend for themselves as singles.”
Ramaiah paused for Roopa’s response and seeing receptivity in her demeanor, he resumed,
“Moreover, there is another angle to marriage; it is fallacious that parents wish idle comfort for their daughters, in their married life,” he seemed to philosophize. “I would rather prefer that you lend your husband a helping hand to build the structure of your married home, brick by brick, hand in hand. In that lies a woman’s true fulfillment in marriage. The boys have proved to be no wiser either, failing to appreciate the joys of sharing the toils as just married. It’s a pity grooms should think in terms of furnishing their bachelor dwellings as if their brides are the paying guests.”
Carried away by his own rhetoric, he reached out to her to help her enlarge her vision thus:
“Weddings have come to symbolize the vanity of the society. Designations of the grooms, conveyed in conversation and carried on the wedding cards, have become the new nomenclature of alliances. It’s as if business firms get free mileage when bachelors on their rolls get married! Who says there are no free lunches? The status of the fathers-in-law too is brought upfront as though to suggest that no protocol was breached. Alas, marriages are being turned into public melas from the family functions they used to be! I know you can appreciate that pomp and pageantry may adorn a wedding but it’s the warmth and love that sustain the marriage.”
Realizing that he reached the threshold, he paused for a while before he crossed it for her sake by averring,
“As for married love, know it’s the man who overwhelms his mate,” he forced himself to tell her, “and nature in its wisdom induces woman to get drawn to the man who deflowers her. You couldn’t have failed to notice intelligent women adoring their mediocre husbands. You must also realize that happiness is not an accompanying baggage of marriage; couples have to mould it with insight and imagination. If anything, the woman has to put in the greater effort, but the rewards could signify the specialty of her life. Try to understand what I’ve said so that you can see life in its proper perspective.”
When he concluded the brainwash, Roopa was mystified by his rhetoric, but after he had left her, she tried to weigh his words against her own inclinations.
Her innate urge, accentuated by the male attention she received, brought her femininity to the fore. The attractions she experienced and the fantasies she entertained shaped a male imagery that ensconced her subconscious. Her envision of a he-man ennobled her self-perception as a female. Insensibly, confident carriage came to be associated with the image of maleness in her mind-set. Her acute consciousness of masculinity only increased her vulnerability to it, making her womanliness crave for the maleness for its gratification. That persona she envisioned as masculine, she found lacking in Sathyam.
However, though she felt that much of her father’s expansive exposition was sensible, as her heart remained steadfast to her dream man, she developed second thoughts. In her predicament, she recalled that Damayanthi had reasoned that marriage would uproot a woman from her dreams to transplant her in her man’s life. Thereafter, woman’s marital fulfillment could induce a life force in her, enabling her to develop new roots in her in-law’s environs. Soon as she would lose mobility, and with it her contacts with the past cease, so, Damayanthi maintained, that friendship between maidens was a mist that marriage would evaporate.
In the end, Roopa thought of seeking Damayanthi’s advice but feeling constrained to confide in her, she found herself closeted with Sandhya.
“If I were a man, maybe you wouldn’t have had this problem,” said Sandhya in jest,
“If you’re married, I would’ve become your co-wife,” said Roopa jokingly, even in her state of confusion.
“God save that poor guy,” laughed Sandhya.
“Why poor for he would be doubly blessed?” said Roopa in jest, and was enamored by the idea of their love triangle. However, having come to the reality of life readily, she sighed and added,
“Well, it’s neither here nor there. Tell me what I am to do now.”
“As you know, my mother says that love is a product of the married mind,” said Sandhya as though parroting her mother’s wisdom, “while romance is the enterprise of the spirited heart. Since we find our mothers in love with our fathers, we may as well follow suit, and end up being fond of our spouses. I know you’re romantic by nature, but you should realize that for the best part, life is humdrum by circumstance. Perhaps, it all boils down to this; where your romance with life should end and the appreciation of its reality begin. It’s for you to draw your own line.”
“Maybe, I am romanticizing life, but he’s too insipid to inspire; looks like my expectations from life are out of tune with the realities of my fate,” said Roopa feeling helpless.
“Check up if you’re holding the mirror of fantasies to the realities of life,” said Sandhya, leaning on Roopa affectionately.
“I’m sure you too wouldn’t have seen him any differently. But as my well-wishers feel that the match is good, maybe I should match my mood as well,” said Roopa resignedly.
“Compromise is the cornerstone of life, isn’t it?” said Sandhya in all empathy.
“Looks like it’s the millstone of my life, I wish I had your disposition of life, to be happy,” muttered Roopa bitterly.
“Don’t you worry; I will share every burden of your life to ease your life, all your life. This is a promise I mean to keep, all my life. Why, haven’t we vowed to disprove my mother’s theory about the brevity of female friendship?” said Sandhya, taking Roopa’s hand
“Oh, Sandhya,” cried Roopa hugging her friend.
“Believe me Roopa, upon the tears of our friendship,” said Sandhya, solacing her soul mate.
“Now I need your friendship more than ever, with an uninspiring husband in the offing, you’re the only hope of my life. It seems the first throw of the dice showed up for our vow. I hope our destiny ensures that your man would empathize with our camaraderie,” said Roopa contemplatively.
When Sandhya wanted to respond, Roopa closed her lips with her hand as though she wanted to hear nothing to the contrary.
For the impending wedding of Sathyam and Roopa, the concerned clans soon clustered in their respective homes. Her sisters’ satisfying remarks about the alliance and her brothers-in-law’s flattering compliments about the groom further increased Roopa’s self-doubts. ‘Am I being overcritical,’ she thought. ‘After all, everyone feels he’s fine.’
On the other hand, Sathyam’s relatives, in their hordes, who came to grace the occasion, gossiped in groups.
“Something must be amiss with this miss,” guessed a relative whom nature cursed with a cynical mind as well as a caustic tongue. “One could see love is thick in the air these days, as girls are falling head over heels for boys on the campuses. Thanks to the influence of the movies, most of the girls have started saying yes to premarital sex without a care. It’s said that doctors are doing a brisk business at the abortion clinics. But, the truly wise catch the gullible guys for sons-in-law before their errant daughters show up the symptoms, and when the chips are down, the past is passed off as a premature issue.”
Maybe, he would have continued to enlighten his third cousin about the sleaze in the cities, if not for the summons the latter received from his better half. However, sensing an unintended scandal in the making, Pathrudu’s family huddled up to devise a counter before it got out of control. ‘We liked the girl, and wanted the marriage hastened. After all, Sathyam’s health was suffering thanks to the hotel food and all,’ was the news that was put into circulation. As the corrigenda carried conviction, the conjecture collapsed.
A couple of Sathyam’s friends and few of his colleagues made it to the marriage, ‘in spite of their busy schedules’ as Sathyam’s mother bragged, and one of his friends who had managed to see Roopa, announced at the stag party that evening,
“Sathyam is going to have a wife of our dreams.”
“I wish I had a wit like yours,” said Sathyam pleased.
“Why forget Ramu, I’ve never thought he would fail to turn up,” said another.
“How I miss him but as luck would have it, his sister’s marriage coincided,” said Sathyam.
That summer night, the kalyana mandapam was truly lit up. Even as they welcomed the guests, Chandrika and Sandhya, who stood at the entrance, perfused them with rose-water. Women, of all ages and sizes, in their colorful silk saris, dusted for the occasion, were seen fluttering as if to attract attention of those gathered. Some men in the traditional dhothi, worn for the occasion, were found rooted to their seats for they were keen not to be seen ungainly for want of habit. Conventional film songs orchestrated for the occasion rent the air, enlivening the gathering. As boys ogled at them, some maidens were seen putting on airs, and let loose by their gossiping parents, all the brats had a feast of a time.
Soon, Chandrika and Sandhya were on the dais behind Roopa in her madhuparkam, to raise her plait as Sathyam tied the nuptial knot. When the ordained moment arrived, Roopa bent her head to enable Sathyam do the needful.
“It’s the only time when woman bows to her husband to enable him to tie the knot. Afterwards, she would raise her head, only to see that he does not raise his again. She could be counted upon to ensure the hands that tied the nuptial knot are forever tied to her apron strings,” surmised Pedda Purnaiahgaru, the octogenarian almanac man.
The marriage hall reverberated to peals of laughter that the statement induced. Soon though, the guests left after congratulating the couple, leaving the relatives to hang around for a little longer, till they could find a corner to lie down. However, the just married were awake a long while to go through the assorted rituals.
Continued to Turn at the Tether
More by : BS Murthy