Oct 04, 2023
Oct 04, 2023
Close on the heels of my earlier post on marriages web serial I cannot but recall an incident I came across when I was on a short stay at Singapore in my friend’s place.
I saw a very simple marriage invite on his table and enquired him about it as the bride and groom where Singaporeans.
He said the bride works in his office and they have the special method of extending invitations for marriage. He said anyone who gets married first will send across an email to all her/his friends that she/he is getting married and request them to inform her/him whether they are interested in attending the marriage. It is left to the friends to send their interest or not. After receiving their confirmation the bride/ groom will extend the personal invitations to only those who expressed their willingness to attend the marriage.
Those who attend the marriage are expected to put some money in a box at the entry or in the hall of marriage towards their lunch/dinner expenses. No presents seemed to be expected. Naturally, the visitors are limited and the marriage ceremony also is quite simple. My friend attended the marriage and brought with him a photo taken instantly with the couple after having a simple lunch.
We, Indians, who at the drop of the hat wax eloquent on the simplicity, philosophy and sanctity of marriage, try to be extravagant on our marriages and sending invitations to all and sundry? We have been hearing stories even today the person with daughters are looked with pity because he has to pay dowry (they say that is abolished and criminal, yet goes in some other name!) borrowing from all possible sources, invest on jewellery, silk sarees and dresses apart from two or three days marriage with an exotic menu for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It is not only followed by the stinking rich, but also by the socalled ‘middle class’ and ‘the poor’. Even in the earlier mentioned serial a lowly employed man will ask for a loan of Rs. 6 lakhs to perform the marriage of his daughter!
Less said the better about the video and photography and noisy reception entertainments.
We all know that a huge amount of food items are wasted in the Indian marriages irrespective of their financial status.
Another surprising and disgusting show off is even the tradition conscious South Indians also follow the North Indian’s big fat marriage style. Is there a reason for a Southie bride and groom getting dressed up in glittering lehenga and shining sherwani suits? Do the North Indians wear Kanjeevaram Saris and Dhothi - angavastram in their marriages? Why there is a cake-cutting agenda in marriages? Do the westerners follow of our noble ‘agni’ and ‘saptapathi’?
None can beat Indians and their hypocrisy and duplicity!
More by : G Swaminathan
|Thanks Mr. Rao for your cheeky comments ('some native customs like that of Gonds, Todas, Koyas etc. and incorporate those as part of the blessed ceremony.') and I really appreciate them. LOL from my side...You say the new gen has to do it. They are the ones who are real crazy about wearing sherwani and lehanga. Especially the with the dark complexioned guys these glittering dressings make them not just horrible to look at but ludicrous. |
But, none seem to learn anything!
|It hit me as you rightly pointed out our south zeitgeist has devolved into the groom wearing the Nizam outfit during wedding ceremony. It is more logical to go back to tradition and to ones roots during marriage though we may wear all kinds of attires to the office in order to make a living. My hope is future generations imbued with social justice will find some native customs like that of Gonds, Todas, Koyas etc. and incorporate those as part of the blessed ceremony. Thanks.|
|"Is there a reason for a Southie bride and groom getting dressed up in glittering lehenga and shining sherwani suits?"|