Too Much Love: Valentine's Repercussions

I am an old resident of the village called Twitter. I find it to be my online home. Why? Because I as an opinionated person can say what I want to say. I can give my perspective. I can show my moods. I can show off as well a bit. Above everything else, I can find people who think like me.  One needs validation. When the immediate society offers limited avenues to express ideas, online family can work as a suitable substitute. You meet wise people. You meet sensitive people. You know what is in vogue. You get news immediately. You rejoice India's victory together. There is company. The norms keep getting upgraded. If you develop an apathy for political bitterness, Twitter happens to be a happy cushion. Since 2011, I have tweeted thousands of my heart's gems.

Then what happened that for the first time on 8th February 2020, I could not stand Twitter and felt like taking a break. It was Valentine's day approaching. The Valentine week had come. Rose day, propose day, who got roses, who did not, how to propose, how to reject, how to accept rejection, love tips by love gurus, items for gift, what melts men and what not. It was endless. So much love was overflowing on my timeline that I felt suffocated. Love on Twitter, messages on phone on what to buy for love, everywhere and anywhere - I needed to escape. Doing duty, travelling for work, doing job, research, teaching and guiding - everything became meaningless. Such is the power of sheep walk. People even went on to tell how those who are not getting enough sex are jealous of those enjoying it abundantly and how it was a matter of utter joke and laughter.

It looked like a trap. I told myself, Shubha tumse na ho paega. I still feel almost choked thinking about love. To love someone is to put that person above your own self. To protect, to appreciate, to ruminate that person. Love is sacred. Love is intense. What has jewellery or sari got to do with love?

How can you teach me how to love?

How can anyone teach anyone else how to love? Love is life. Love is breath. It is a sacred emotion. It disturbs me when people casually say, I love you. It has no meaning. It is a degradation of love.

To love a person is to wish welfare of that person. To love a person is to accept the imperfections of that person. To love a person is to surrender your ego before that person. To love a person is to deify that person. When your being is entwined with the being of that person, when two in body become one in soul, then it is love. The desire to be with that person come what may is love. Love requires time. Love requires respect. To love a person is to include that person in your life, in your consciousness and in your experiences.

Forgive me, love is no game. It is no "time pass". It should not be a marketing strategy. Your car, money, position, jewellery and sari has nothing to do with love. If you wish to gift someone something in love, gift your rapt attention, give your prayers, bestow your thoughts and sincerity. Forget planning. Forget moves and counter moves. Love improves one as a person because one learns to put another person above oneself. To love someone fully is an act of courage. It is an act of selflessness.

Love Gyan on social media is anti-love. There cannot be standard Gyan on such a soft, delicate, personal and intrinsic topic like love. Every individual loves in her/his unique way.

And that is the reason I usually do not include people in my vicinity, in my circle, and in my company.   It is work. To love is supreme but just to be buddies, to be friends, to be well-wishers is pretty intense. People say that kindly keep me in your thoughts and in your prayers. I actually do. Once a person is friend, I am on her/his side. I know no other way. Her/his welfare is my concern. For me, family and friends are quite similar if not synonymous. I usually tell people all my faults, my unusual ways beforehand. I tell them that I am not a people pleaser. I am self-respecting. I tell them to keep away from me in no uncertain terms. And that keeps most of them away.

Keeping all worldly, brutal, ruthless, scheming, cruel and cunning people in mind, I have to keep the door open as well. Walk away whenever you want. You are free to move on. I can deal with disappointment and pain. There is no tying down. This is just to ensure that if there is wrong entry in my family of friends, the aberration gets corrected of its own. This is an automatic device. Say, go if want to go. If the person goes, s/he was never worth keeping.

Please do not give me Gyan on what is love, how to love and why to apply tricks. Love is no strategy, no trick. The heart has its own logic. Let it go by that. Let each heart sing its own tale of love, longing, and life.


More by :  Prof. Shubha Tiwari

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Views: 3426      Comments: 9

Comment Are there different kinds of love? Love as you talk about, or love of one's aunt, or one's pet, or the love of Christ? The characteristic of natural love is that it is emotionally based, thus varies according to emotion moved - lover, aunt or pet etc. This is why people deeply in love for 25 years, raising families, suddenly 'fall out of love' - the emotional source dries up. Divine love, not based on fickle emotions, is based on who you are.

R D Ashby
22-Feb-2020 14:29 PM

Comment I'm not talking about Christ here. I'm talking about love between a man and a woman.

Prof. Shubha Tiwari
22-Feb-2020 10:57 AM

Comment One thing love is not is artificial. It is only revealed as the genuine article. To say Christ loves you is to infer nothing else.

R D Ashby
21-Feb-2020 16:57 PM

Comment Total surrender and that is what love is all about. It does not pay attention to one's exterior , only inner beauty counts. It does not need a particular day for expression. Its there each and everyday and in each and every moment .Beautiful definition and explanation!

Bhavana Gupta
11-Feb-2020 01:26 AM

Comment In very few words, you measured the deep concept of love ...The level of abstraction about love is inspired us to remain pure and natural.....we learned today ..
Thanku you...Ma'am....

shabana qurieshy
09-Feb-2020 10:59 AM

Comment So true.Love is beyond materialistic things. Very nice article by you at very right time of the year.Hope people read and understand the true meaning of love.

Pratima Payasi
09-Feb-2020 08:53 AM

Comment very spiritual thought for love mam

09-Feb-2020 08:42 AM

Comment 100% truthfully defined about love ,really very deeply thought thank you mam great work

09-Feb-2020 08:24 AM

Comment Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. - Corinthians 13:4-8

Alfredo Loarte
09-Feb-2020 08:04 AM

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