Jun 01, 2023
Jun 01, 2023
Correct me if I am wrong; friendship or relationship, in my opinion, is a two-way traffic, almost. I am not talking or discussing about marriage or the relationship between a husband and wife; because it has several other factors influencing them.
I recall my friends from my elementary and high school days; they were not too many but the ones who were close to me in school have dropped after going to college and extinct after a few years. Even one I try to strike some communication it didn’t work. I had a group of college mates but they also moved to different places and even the one with whom I thought I was close got disconnected and now ‘I heard he is no more’.
Later, I made friends apart from my workplace at random but except a few not many sustained. Please don’t think that I have something against them or misunderstanding. There are no such things. The life has parted our ways. A few unexpected phone calls or greetings or messages pop up once in a while. With an exchange of few pleasantries the contact wears off once again. But, I am happy that they remember me alleast.
Certain contacts were mandatory during working days. They were there very active during the service, but soon after retirement, some completely disappeared. Again, no ill feeling or misunderstanding; just nothing special to those contacts except professional.
Be it a friend or a relative unless there is something common to discuss or share no friendship or camaraderie survives. Again, in my personal experience, age had never been a bar, as long a we have something in common to share or express. I never try to discuss politics, sports or religious faith with any of them. Poltics is again a sort of belief or faith and exchanges can turn heated.Sports, I don’t, because my knowledge in it is next to zero.
If at all I have been maintaining certain friendships or relationships for more than two or three decades with contact at regular intervals, because of mainly my love and affection on them apart from the common interests, we share.
Here also we get into conflicts at times, but they don’t affect our relationship. Another great asset is their confidence in me and mine on them.
My bonhomie with all these long lasting contacts are always two-way traffic; I listen to them and they too listen to me.
I don’t tell things which they don’t like and they also do the same, I believe. We exchange our common views on things around us. Notwithstanding, I know at times, I get into arguments and hurt even these long time friends also; but never hesitate or fail to express my regrets once realizing my mistake or temper.
If we want someone in our life for continuous relationship or friendship, apart from all the above we should have the mind and heart to accept them as they are. I will not say it is a compromise but it is more of an understanding.
More by : G Swaminathan