"Can I love you?"

Someone asked as they stepped towards him. Harika once again posed the same question with a flirtatious smile and a sly look. Ashok thought, "Not him." However, she came and sat beside him, repeating the same question while looking into his eyes. Ashok looked back at her, feeling an unknown and indescribable emotion.

The setting was a cool evening on a green lawn with tall trees, creating a cozy and pleasant landscape. The Arts College building shone in the mild sunshine, resembling a gilded, magnificent historical edifice. To the west, the Osmania University library building stood tall on elevated ground, appearing like the pinnacle of knowledge, beckoning to all.

As Ashok continued to gaze at her, she seemed to glow like a nymph amidst the surrounding trees. Suddenly, their eyes met, and both felt an electric sensation coursing through their bodies. Overwhelmed by the moment, Ashok dropped his head and focused on the ground. Harika moved a bit away.

"My name is Harika. I know you. You too might have seen me," Harika smiled mischievously, saying, "Tell me where you have seen me."

Ashok looked at her once again curiously. He recognized her face; it seemed he had seen her several times. He was trying to recollect where he had seen her. He vaguely remembered. She and he had met several times in meetings and processions. It seemed she had given slogans once or twice. He remembered her making small speeches as well. He recollected these things one after the other.

Oh! Her name was Harika! He had wanted to know her name many times and what she was studying, but he couldn't ask her. Harika appeared surprisingly different today, as if she had come specially prepared for a matchmaking event.

The Harika he saw in processions was different – a strong, passionate woman with clenched fists, shouting slogans emotionally. Was she the same Harika always seen like a heroine in pants, shirts, and Punjabi dresses? It appeared she had delicately and beautifully prepared herself for this occasion, making it hard for anyone to recognize her. Ashok couldn't help but admire how beautiful women look when they are well made up. A soft laughter escaped his lips, spreading across his cheeks like a gentle breeze.

"How beautiful you look in this dress!" Ashok complimented her.

"Hmmm! Now you have recognized me! You mean you don't think I look cute in pants and shirts?" Harika asked directly.

"Sorry! That is not what I mean. You look more beautiful in this dress. But that personality and that style are different... This style is different..." replied Ashok.

"Well... now men like you have come to a style of appreciating. Tell me straight at least now... Can I love you?" said Harika and laughed softly.

Ashok laughed while saying, "What is that? Will anyone ask and love? It is like some movie dialogue. What is that question? When did we meet? We do not know each other. There is no friendship between us. How about asking directly if I can love you?"

"It is not like that, you great man! You are in some deep thought. I wanted to disturb you. I didn't know how to greet you. One will have desires according to one's age. We are at the age of love. Are there other things that are more attractive than love at this age? So, I thought for three days, coined these dialogues, and rehearsed them like a play, as you said. Imagining what your answers would be like, I have also prepared in my mind how I should respond to them."

Ashok asked with a smile, "But did I give you the answers you expected?"

"It didn't happen that way. When I saw you sitting like a frustrated lover like Devadas, I thought of bringing you out of your mood. But I didn't know your mood. So, the dialogues I expected did not come from your mouth."

Someone came and sat nearby under the shade of the tree. Harika lowered her voice, thinking that they could hear their conversation.

"I thought you would ask me, 'Please don't disturb me. Who are you?' But you responded instantly, like Vishwamitra, who, upon seeing Menaka, got upset, left his penance, and fell in love with her. Thank you."

"But is it all a drama? Didn't you genuinely ask?" Harika felt that Ashok was surprised, and she asked, a little crestfallen.

"Ashok! I seriously asked you. I feel I truly want to love you. But I thought if I love you without your permission, it will be one-sided love. One-sided love is a waste. As our awareness of life increases and we work in movements, what is the point of hesitating? Love is also a matter of proper understanding. It is a serious decision that will shape our lives. Therefore, I don't believe in love at first sight. The familiarity, understanding, and friendship that grow through working together and talking to each other can lead to liking. Liking can gradually turn into love. This is love with real individuality. What do you say?"

Harika felt shy when she noticed that the people talking under the tree turned their heads slightly and looked towards them upon hearing the words "prema, doma."

Soumya came close, waving her hand, saying, "Hi Harika!"

"Your dialogue is quite impressive. Tell it once again," Soumya congratulated her, shook her hand, and said, "You have given a wonderful definition of modern love." Harika pretended to be a bit perplexed.

Ashok looked at both in surprise. He turned his gaze and looked up at the top of the tall library building. He felt that the Arts College building seemed to be mocking him with a burst of immense laughter. He doubted whether they were both plotting and teasing him like this. His face scrunched up.

Soumya asked, looking at Ashok as if she were truly acting as per the plan.

"Harika seems to have feelings for you. You haven't expressed your opinion yet. What do you think, Ashok?"

Harika replied, "Why would I ask if I didn't want to love? But this Pravarakhyudu, Sriramachandrudu, talks about everything except love."

Soumya teased Ashok playfully and asked, as if she expected him to answer at least now, "So, does that mean he didn't give you permission to love?"

Ashok hesitated and said, "It doesn't feel right when both of you ask like this. Does anyone really seek permission to love? Shouldn't expressing love come before seeking permission?"

Harika smiled warmly and held Ashok's hand, saying, "That is the actual thing. You're right. That is what I am asking. If you think I'm someone you can love, just tell me, and I'll gladly start loving you."

As Harika's cold hand touched Ashok's, he felt something special within him.

"I come from a humble family, and my parents have placed great hopes on me," Ashok said, looking down.

Harika retorted, "Who told you that I come from a rich family? Just because your parents have hopes for you, does that mean mine won't have any hope for me? If we were from a wealthy background, I would be studying engineering or medicine somewhere. Why else would I choose to stay on this university campus and in the hostel?"

Soumya laughed and added, "Those with some money are heading to the software or medical fields, while the rest of us are like this."

Harika continued the conversation, emphasizing, "In any case, Osmania University is now under the leadership of people from less privileged backgrounds like us."

Soumya noticed that they were drifting away from the main topic of discussion.

Soumya shook hands with Ashok, saying, "That is alright, Ashok! It is also my opinion that it is correct nowadays to seek permission like this and love." The three of them laughed gently for some time.

Soumya played the role of a mediator, saying, "Harika! Ashok is very shy. It is not appropriate to ask him immediately. Let him think for a few days. If he wants you to love him, he will let you know. What do you say, Ashok?"

Ashok nodded with a positive gesture.

"All right. I am giving you one week to think. Only then tell me whether I can love you or not. There is no problem in telling Soumya. I will be happy if you love even Soumya." Harika said, "What do you say?" looking at Soumya with a smile.

"The boy is a gentleman. He is pursuing his studies sincerely, and he will secure a job within a short time. His modesty and obedience are commendable. His body language is also remarkably gentle. Therefore, it would be a happy moment if he says to you, to me, or to anybody that you can love me," Soumya said and laughed, making an oblique remark against Ashok, "What type of men are those who, even at the very least, cannot love themselves and cannot tell those who want to love them that they can love?"

Ashok felt as if an electric current passed rapidly through his spine. "It is a fact!" Women think that men are the ones to chase them and that they are in love with them. But it seemed that the two women were teasing him together. Harika said, smiling as if noticing that feeling.

"It is true, Ashok. I honestly want to love you, but you are moody. Maybe there is another lover or an imaginary lover in your mind. How do I know? So, I am asking as I thought it better to ask directly and not to make fun of you. We have crossed our teenage years. It has been a long time since we attained the age of loving. Many springs have passed. We fall in love, but we hesitate in the name of education, movements, employment, caste, and whether our parents agree or not," said Harika. She then looked at Soumya and asked, "Am I right, Soumya?"

Soumya gave a short lecture, saying, "Yeah! That's correct. Nowadays, dowry and caste are playing a major role in love. It's a fact that the youth are falling in love only after knowing their caste as well. They want to love only after knowing everything beforehand to avoid further problems. This problem is not found in other countries. They happily express their love for each other in Europe, Japan, America, Russia, or China. They know each other's opinions. They love each other if they want to love, or they leave love and continue the friendship. In this way, they express opinions to each other through dating and meetings. Parents do not marry off their children in those countries. They have to find relationships, love, and get married on their own. If the children say that they love someone and marry, their parents, relatives, and friends will consider them very mature and respectable children, and they will bless them and marry them. Many people fall in love and get married without even telling their parents, and then they inform them at leisure. There is no issue of dowry and gifts. There is no plight such as searching in a marriage bureau. All things are discussed and settled together comfortably."

Harika said and agreed, "Your lecture is excellent. I have been telling you from the beginning that you will become a good orator and a good lecturer."

Soumya questioned her with fake anger, "Just that! You mean I will not grow up to be a good leader, and I am not suitable to be an MLA or MP? That's it?"

"Who will give you a ticket? If someone comes across an intelligent person, they fear that such a person will outperform them. You will be given a ticket if you learn to be humble and innocent, even if you know everything. Till then, you will become a leader for movements, but it is difficult for you to become a political leader and get promoted by others!" Harika expressed her opinion openly.

Ashok belittled them both, saying, "So, both of you are political creatures. You are commodities that want to grow as leaders through the movement rather than sacrificing for the movement."

At once, both burst out. "Our sacrifices and our struggles are not for others to win as leaders," they flung into an argument like a whirlwind, saying that they alone should grow as political leaders. Some more people came there and joined the argument. What Harika and Soumya said was very correct. The struggles are ours; the movements are ours, and the leadership is ours. Tomorrow, will other people win as leaders in politics? Why should we not win as leaders? When the Jai Telangana movement started in 1969, the activists who carried out the movement emerged as the leaders of that movement. They became political leaders, became MLAs, became Ministers, and became MPs. The current leadership in many fields belongs to those who participated in the Jai Telangana and Jai Andhra movements. Why is that sequence not going on now? Why is there this bad situation of choosing someone else every time? This false policy must change. The students and youth alone should emerge as leaders in all fields. What do we lack? We lack only money. Are they spending money by selling their houses? Aren't those monetary donations collected by asking someone? Can't we do that? Why shouldn't we become leaders?" Thus, the discussion went on. Night had fallen. The high-mast lights were on. No one noticed the grass gnats buzzing around. The discussion got heated, and eventually, they got up slowly, saying that the meeting was adjourned. They introduced themselves to each other and took their leave.

Ashok heard the same dialogue repeatedly throughout the night after returning from the mess. The soulful touch of Harika, asking "Can I love you?" while looking into his eyes and placing her hand in his hand, brought him great comfort. The memory of that moment was so reassuring that it made him feel doubly at ease, and he slept peacefully that night after a long time.

Harika and Soumya retired to their respective rooms in the ladies' hostel. Both were lost in their thoughts and couldn't sleep until midnight. Although asking the question seemed easy, after doing so, they felt the weight of its consequences. What if Ashok's answer was negative? How would they bear that shame? They questioned why they had asked in the first place.

Recently, Ashok had been feeling lonely and moody, and this raised concerns that he might be at risk of suicide. Preventing suicide is crucial. Lakshmi Priya argued that people won't contemplate suicide if they believe someone loves them. She shared her own experience of stopping suicide attempts after falling in love, and she even mentioned plans of getting married.

To verify if Lakshmi Priya's statement was true, Harika and Soumya decided to conduct an experiment. Nobody knew about it. For the first time, they felt that they were stuck in another predicament else as a result of the thought of doing something. They weren't sure what was lacking in Ashok to love them, but they convinced themselves that their actions were not wrong.

After completing her morning bath, Harika entered the breakfast section in the mess and searched for Soumya. It appeared that Soumya was also looking for Harika. They greeted each other with a warm "Hi" and moved to a corner to discuss whether their actions from the previous day were morally justified.

Soumya supported Harika, stating, "I think we haven't done anything wrong. Those who can't experience love or don't have the opportunity to love may resort to suicide. Suicide rates decrease when people believe there's at least one person who loves them. Let's discuss this with Professor Lakshman in the afternoon."

Harika disagreed, saying, "No, even those who have loved someone might consider suicide if their love fails. Don't you agree with me?"

Soumya responded, "Alright, we'll meet with the professor in the afternoon and discuss this further." After concluding their discussion, they both headed back to the tiffin section.

In the afternoon, they walked towards the office of Professor Lakshman in the Arts College, who always advised them in the movement. They explained their feelings about what had happened.

Lakshman laughed, saying, "You are too late," and shared his experiences. Just then, his wife Srujana, an Assistant Professor, came in smiling and sat down. Lakshman introduced Harika and Soumya to Srujana.

"Yes. As Lakshman said, you are too late. We studied at this University. Similarly, back then we participated actively in the students' movements. A few hundred students fell in love and got married as part of those movements. Our wedding also took place in a similar manner. Like you, I took the initiative back then," Srujana laughed, saying, "He is the same now as he was in those days."

Lakshman said, "Harika! She belongs to an upper caste, but I belong to a lower caste. I am an introvert, and I feared telling her that I loved her. It didn't bother her, though. She takes pride in her upper-caste identity and considers it self-confidence. She took the initiative in our relationship, but that doesn't mean she was the first one to love me, or that I didn't love her."

Srujana, an Assistant Professor, expressed, "Harika! Even after many years of marriage and with our children studying in college, he still mocks me, labeling me as an arrogant upper caste. If we don't conform to their expectations, their egos get hurt, and they attribute it to caste arrogance. The concept of feminism came into play, and we believe in gender equality, so I think men should equally share the responsibilities. I question why I have to make tea for him every time, and he responds with his male chauvinism, associating it with my caste." Srujana laughed and added, "If given the chance, he only uses it to curse my caste of birth."

"Harika! They came into the movement during that time and participated more actively than us. We thought it was all a great adventure," Professor Lakshman said, looking at Srujana with a smile, as if questioning whether it was true or not. He continued, "But it was not known until somebody said in those days that these women were joining the movement just to marry the men they liked without a dowry."

"Is it a blunder to join the movement thinking that way? Is that wrong? Who can't help but love seeing young people coming forward with a great understanding of society and dedicating their lives to changing this society drastically?" Srujana replied.

"Don't get so angry. I said it as a joke. Take it lightly. In any country, thousands of people fall in love and get married when movements take place. Finally, many people fall in love and get married even in wars where they are alert from moment to moment. That is a natural order too. The strangest thing is that even though this new movement has been going on for a long time now, no one has said, except you, 'We like each other, help our marriage.' That too, to ask if we can love, sir! I don't know whether society is going forward or backward. We made love comfortably before you were born. We built movements. We never considered them contradictory to each other. But whatever task you undertake, you do it blindly. However, you are the best of the lot." He looked directly into their eyes while smiling and asked, "But are you ready to love Ashok?"

Srujana supported them, saying, "How can girls say it more clearly than this? How great you are!"

"It is true, madam! I honestly want to love Ashok. But in the environment where we grew up in our village, loving is not a part of our life. Unless society changes a lot, love does not seem to be a part of life in our region. This is a system where people marry only after taking into consideration caste, religion, parents, brothers, property, and status. This is a male-dominated system that looks down on a girl as weak if she says she is in love. That is why, though I want to love, I am unable to love. If boys come after us saying that they love us, we don't feel like believing them. This is a state of dilemma, sir." Thus, Harika spoke openly to Srujana and Lakshman. Similarly, Soumya also explained her experiences.

Srujana went into the memories of those days, saying, "So do you mean we haven't experienced all these in our time? Do you think there would have been an egalitarian society then? The system was much worse than this. Now it has changed a lot. Now if the children say that they are in love, the parents marry them off, even if the boy or girl is inter-caste. After the advent of family planning, as the offspring is restricted to one or two, no one can abandon them. In our case, the people from my side and his side did not talk to us properly for two years after our marriage. They spoke to us only after I gave birth to their grandson." Her best friend Swarnalatha went into the movement to radically change this society, to build an egalitarian society, and to bring a new democratic revolution. "We never met again after that. I couldn't even see her body at the end. How many times did I think of seeing Swarnalatha? How excited she was to join a movement like Swarnalatha! Where have today the lofty goals, passions, and sacrifices of the youth of those days gone...? All the friends of the movement were scattered somewhere." A layer of tears formed in Srujana's eyes.

Professor Lakshman said, as if he noticed Srujana's thoughts and anxiety, "Srujana, society seems to be going backward in some respects. Sacrifice was the calling of the age of those days. It was the time when people yearned to make sacrifices to do their best in the evolution of society rather than pursuing their bright future. The issues of property and status, which did not exist in those days, have now greatly increased. Do you deny it?" said Professor Lakshman.

Professor Lakshman turned to Harika and Soumya and said, "But it is not just a problem related to both of you. It's not limited to you only. It's not limited to our region only. It's a problem faced by millions of youth in our country. This is not a problem to be solved in isolation. It is an issue linked to society as a whole, cultural values, the family system, and the caste system." Thus, he explained for a long time. They assured them that they would have their moral support, encouraging them to move forward as they were doing the right thing.

Ashok too had the same doubt. Ashok met two more friends, and they talked to each other. Without knowing anything about Harika's conversation, both of them also met Professor Daya Sagar. They asked questions as if they were discussing some theory rather than their own problem. After hearing everything, Professor Daya Sagar sympathized with them and explained it well.

"A classmate of ours used to say, reciting poetry to everyone, 'Youthful age calls to love someone. Social movements excite people to make sacrifices for the sake of society and the nation. Finally, even life should be sacrificed for it.' That sentiment inspired many people. Many fell in love while participating in the movement. They got married. Ours is also a love marriage. The call of youth is of two types: one is love, and the other is sacrifice. In any generation, the new young generation is eager to make sacrifices for society. Youth calls for mutual love when there is no such environment. But movements make it natural to love as well as sacrifice. However, the present situation is unfolding differently. This is the tragedy. A movement generally increases courage and collective dynamism. That is the essence of a real movement. But suicides have increased in this movement like never before. When emotion and excitement have grown to a stage where one intends to do something for society and social change, and when the thought of making a sacrifice constantly urges a person, if the leadership is unable to provide a proper program for it, that emotion and sacrifice will flow in reverse, turning into frustration. At this stage, they are tempted to think that the sacrifice of their lives will be useful for carrying the movement forward. This is all about the topic related to social psychology. Some sadists are saying that it is mass hysteria. They are idiots and anti-movement. The people who say that those who sacrificed their lives are cowards are the ones who are stupid. It is a fact that they are not cowards. Those who have guts will courageously get involved in militant movements for the sake of the movement, but they will not talk lightly about the sacrifices of other people's lives." Thus, Daya Sagar analyzed many things and said, "I want you to grow up to be good leaders."

Harika is waiting for Ashok's decision. Ashok is waiting for Harika's decision to open a conversation with her. Days passed without either deciding who should open the conversation first. Soumya is angry.

Soumya flared up, saying, "This time I will not come as a mediator. What kind of human beings are you who can't even express love, like utter stupids and cowards?" Soumya said, "Tata, bye-bye," and left, laughing and saying, "You go to hell. How can you express your love is up to you. Don't ask me ever again." Since then, Soumya had been avoiding Harika.

On that day, the students were discussing something under the trees in front of the Arts College. Some were suggesting that everyone should go to Lakshmi Priya's wedding together and have a grand celebration.

Under a tent near the steps of the Arts College, someone was giving a speech to the students at the hunger strike camp. Several others were shouting slogans, raising their fists.

Coming from the University library towards the Arts College, Soumya saw Harika under the trees and walked towards her, thinking that it had been many days since they last met. Harika was looking towards the hunger strike camp, and Soumya focused in the direction Harika was looking. Ashok was spotted among the crowd, shouting slogans.

Soumya approached Harika and asked, "Hi Harika! What about your love? How long will you have to wait?"

"He will come to us after calling off his hunger strike at the camp today," said Harika with confidence.

"Did you cast a spell? Have you tried hypnotism? How sure are you?" Soumya inquired.

Harika behaved in a reserved manner and said, "I just know."

Dusk was spreading, and it was getting dark under the trees. Many students were leaving from under the trees, but only a few remained. Harika and Soumya were waiting, eagerly looking to leave.

As they expected, Ashok greeted them with a smile, saying, "Hi Harika! Can I love you?"

Soumya congratulated Ashok and Harika, saying, "This reverse dialogue ends so wonderfully. Congratulations!"

"But Soumya, don't tell anyone about this until we tell you. You should declare yourself at Lakshmi Priya's wedding," said Harika.

(Original in Telugu published in Vartha Telugu daily Sunday 2011)