Shailaja’s pen halted mid-sentence as per phone rang. It was her son, Dr. Aranya, with his routine check-in-call.

“Hello Mom! What are you doing?” 

“Oh! I’m fine. Just writing something.” 

“Okay! I am at the hospital. I will call you again tomorrow.”

As the call ended, memories flooded Shailaja’s mind taking her back to her own pregnancy years ago...In her third mouth, Shailaja struggled with constant nausea. The mere smell of cooking rice was unbearable. “Ugh! Turn off the stove first!” she said complaining, returning from school. Everything she ate came back up. Irritability and discomfort were her constant companions. 

Where were the beautiful thoughts about impending motherhood that everyone spoke of? Was this normal, or was she alone in her misery ? When she confided in them, they dismissed her concerns, saying, “This irritation is nothing compared to the joys of motherhood.”

“I don’t know! I don’t feel that way at all,” Shailaja would think, turning to work and books for escape. As days passed, the romanticized notions of motherhood began to unravel for her.

Memories of her own mother surfaced. “I feel like going to 

my mother,” she told Ravi one day. 

Ravi was shocked for a moment.” What? Shailu! You want to go to your mother’s?”

“What are you talking about...How can you go to your deceased mother?” he added, reminding her gently of the painful reality. 

Shailaja’s eyes misled over. “I didn’t know...I want to ask if she felt like this when I was in her womb...She must have felt the same way...Maybe that is why my mother’s words… you won’t understand until you become a mother yourself” are haunting me...

Her voice trailed off, filled with a longing that could not be fulfilled. The absence of her mother felt more acute than ever in this moment of impending motherhood. Despite the impossibility of it, Shailaja yearned for that conciliation, that understanding that only a mother could provide.

As her pregnancy progressed, Shailaja found challenging herself more than just physical discomforts. On the day of an important doctor’s appointment, which coincided with a solar eclipse, she faced resistance from her family.

“There is an eclipse today, Shailu! Let’s go tomorrow,” her sister- in- law argued.

“I don’t believe in such It’s fine... Let’s go today,” Shailaja 

insisted stubbornly.

Her sister-in-law grumbled affectionately, “Oh! You are so stubborn, Shailu! You never listen easily...You could at least give up your stubbornness for the sake of your unborn child...”

At the clinic, Dr. Lalithamba was surprised to see them. “What? You came today?”

Shailaja stood her ground. “How can I not practice what I believe in, Doctor?” I am a teacher who tells students every day that science has progressed so much, not to believe in superstitions, not to believe in caste and religion...”

The doctor smiled approvingly. “That’s why I heard you had an inter-caste marriage transcending caste and religion. Is that true?”

“It’s true, Doctor. Many people think ours was love marriage. But the underlying meaning is what you think...Not just us, four of our friends did the same. We can’t change the whole society at once...We thought we should practice what we believe in ...”

As Dr. Lalithamba began the examination, she noticed a determined look in Shailaja’s eyes. “You seem very thoughtful today, Shailaja. Is there something on your mind?”

Shailaja’s gaze was steady as she replied, “Actually, Doctor, I have been thinking a lot about this and I have so many plans for raising a strong, independent daughter who will Challenge societal norms.”

Dr. Lalithamba raised an eyebrow, intrigued by Shailaja’s

conviction. “That’s quite a vision you have there.”

“Yes, shailaja continued confidently. “I believe we need more who are not afraid to question the status quo. And I am prepared to raise my child with those values, regardless of gender. But I cannot deny, I have always imagined having a little girl to guide through this world.”

The doctor nodded, impressed by Shailaja’s resolve. “Well, we will know soon enough. For now, let’s focus on your health and the baby’s development.”

Even in the seventh month, the nausea and vomiting

persisted, although it usually subsides by the fifth month for most women. One afternoon, Shailaja was relaxing in the bedroom reading Chalam’s “Child Rearing” when her thoughts began to wander.

She reflected on how, for generations, patriarchy had confined women to kitchens and child - rearing. It saw them as machines to bear and raise children. Even in today’s modern era, when women well pursuing higher education and storming into all fields on par with men, women were still largely taking on the responsibility of raising children.

“Women too believe that responsibility is theirs,” Shailaja

mused. “How conditioned they have become without even

realizing it!”

The more she pondered there ideas, the more her conviction grew. She was determined to challenge these long- held beliefs about motherhood and women’s role in society. Lost in thought, she drifted off to sleep at some point, the book still open on her lap.

As her due date approached, Shailaja’s thoughts deepened further. The delivery date given by the doctor arrived, but without the expected labor pains. In the hospital, Shailaja found herself in a large labor room with four tables, two occupied by other pregnant women. She witnessed the struggles of other women, including a distressing glimpse of a premature baby’s body in the bathroom trash, which deeply shook her.

As hours passed without progress, the doctor became

increasingly concerned. After examining Shailaja and

consulting with another doctor, she announced urgently, “The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck in the womb. That’s why the baby is unable to come out...We

need to a C-section immediately and take the baby out...

otherwise the baby’s life is in danger.”

The room burst into action as they prepared Shailaja for

emergency surgery. As she was wheeled to the operating

theater, her heart saved with fear and anticipation.

“Shailaja! You delivered... baby is very cute,” said Dr.

Lalithamba after the surgery. Shailaja smiled with joy and detachment.

“Are mother and child doing well?” Ravi asked.

“Ah! They’re fine, Ravi...But you need to be careful about one thing. Shailu was very confident that she could definitely have a girl. Now if she finds out it’s a boy, there’s a risk of her going into shock. So, you need to deal her at an appropriate lime,”

“Okay, Doctor...” said Ravi.

Later, while feeding the baby, admiring the long looks of hair, Shailaja said, “Look how beautiful the baby girl is, Ravi.”

Ravi hesitated before responding, “Shailu, the baby is not a girl but is a boy.”

For a moment, Shailaja closed for eyes and thought very

practically. She said firmly, “Look, Ravi...I gave birth because only I could. And I am breastfeeding only I can. But apart from these two things, you can do everything else for the baby too, right? Raising children is not just a mother’s responsibility.”

Shailaja continued...” The whole idea of ‘motherhood is sweet’ is just a beautifully woven lie that reinforces patriarchy. Women, conditioned for generations, have been unable to step out of this mindset and continue to believe that raising children is solely their duty. As a result, they struggle both inside and outside the home, feeling overwhelmed and inadequate as mothers.

So! Let’s not full into that trap. Let’s show society that parenting is not just about motherhood... it’s also about fatherhood too. From now on, men should make sure they don’t miss out on fatherhood.

Let’s raise our child not as a just ‘mere man’ but as a ‘human being.’ As he grows, you should be his role model.” Shailaja said.

Ravi smiled in agreement and nodded his head with commitment in his eyes. Together, they were ready to challenge societal norms and redefine parenting roles.