Random Thoughts

The Last J That Broke Bush's Back

All of the readers must have heard about the vigilante Minutemen on the Mexican border trying to stem the tide of illegal immigrants. It is common knowledge that congressman Tancredo and commentator Pat Buchanan are against immigration and the Republican Fat Cats and Bush are for it. The standard thinking is that the first two are against immigration in general and illegal Mexican immigration in particular. The congressman and others have raised the specter of educational and health care burdens, and Hazelton in Pennsylvania and a town in California have passed laws making it an offence to rent housing to or hire illegal immigrants. Some Republicans have raised the bogey of terrorists coming here illegally across the border, to detract the public from the miserable debacles of the current executive and legislative branches. Those wanting to turn a blind eye are the ones wishing to exploit the cheap labor of the illegal immigrants in harvesting crops, construction, child care, lawn care, textiles etc. Bush was for a backdoor amnesty but seems to have changed his mind.

Rumor has it that what blew Bush's mind was reading a program for a Hispanic conclave where he was invited to speak. So I called up god and asked him about the attitudes of Tancredo, Buchanan and Bush. He told me that he would send me a dream in which all would be explained. This is what I dreamt.

"Tancredo was reading American history and came across the Southern European immigration restriction act passed by the US Congress which prohibited immigration from Southern Europe because at that time America had fallen for the fad of Eugenics. In fact the Nazis adopted American laws. America wanted Nordic Northern Europeans because they believed that Southern Europeans and Jews were mentally handicapped. Tancredo was enraged at this discriminatory law. To remedy it, he came up with the brainwave that he should promulgate a new law that would discriminate uniformly and indiscriminately against all non-Americans. He is really a liberal promoting equality of injustice and not some redneck.

Buchanan is also a closet liberal and that is why he said on C-Span that the Mexican government has a plan to encourage the migration of poor Mexicans to the US. He being Irish, should know. The British arranged for a famine to happen in Ireland just with that idea. Indian readers may know that the British sat on their fat fanny and allowed millions of Bengalis to perish due to famine during the Raj. Buchanan, the bleeding heart liberal is against all chosen people. This time he chose the Mexicans but in his past statements he has disapproved of all non-white immigration. This is how these two explained and justified their position in my dream.

Then Bush appeared in my dream, but he is non-fluent in both English and Spanish, so he muttered and stuttered. The only sense I could make out is that the letter "J" in Spanish is pronounced as "H". Thus sojo is pronounced soho. He also told me that George Bush in Spanish becomes Jorje Arbusto. That is why Bush named the first of his series of failed oil companies, ARBUSTO. All this made no coherent sense to me so he gave me a copy of the program at which he was the main speaker including the starting with the national anthem and ending with the presidential theme song. After reading it you will understand why he sent the National Guard to stop Mexican immigration and wants English to be the national language.

Annual Convention of American Hispanics ' Program

National Anthem ' Jose, do you see
Keynote Speaker - Jorje (pronounced like whore hay) Arbusto
Music ' Jail to the Chief

It was the third "J" that flipped Bush and he went "j"aywire and started screaming in gibberish, the White House dialect and that woke me up."

This will be my last communiqu' from god. I was getting hooked on calling him like many people who use these 900 numbers for sex talk. To escape the temptation, I called the phone company and put a block on all 900 calls, so even if I am tempted to call him I won't be able to, and I won't waste my money.  


More by :  Gaurang Bhatt, MD

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