Humor

Bullet Proof Suits

The Hari Putar Dialogues - 47

(The Hindustan Times ; 5 March 2009 ; New Delhi : When Barack Obama walked out to take oath that morning in Washington, he seemed a little under-dressed for the chill. But he was dressed just right, apparently, in a bullet-resistant suit that doesn't look anything like one.

That was a designer bulletproof suit, from the Miguel Caballero collection. And they will be available in India very soon, possibly in time for politicians to grab one before they hit the campaign trail.

Miguel Caballero is a bulletproof clothing company based in Colombia, named after its Colombian owner. According to Wikipedia, its clients include action film star Steven Seagal and Venezuela president Hugo Chavez.)

Putar: There is a report in the Hindustan Times today that some designers are manufacturing bullet proof suits.

Hari: Really Putar? Have things come to such a state? You are joking. Who is going to use these suits?

Putar: Apparently when Barack Obama took the oath in Washington he was wearing just such a suit: a bullet resistant suit.

Hari: I suppose George Bush may have worn similar suits.

Putar: I don't know about him but the report suggests that George Bush's good friend Hugo Chavez is one of the clients of Miguel Caballero.

Hari: Who is Miguel Caballero?

Putar: This is the name of the bullet proof clothing company based in Columbia, which is named after its Colombian owner.

Hari: Columbia? Isn't that the country that is notorious the world over for drug smugglers.

Putar: Yes, it is.

Hari: So I guess the company may be having some of the drug barons as their clients as well.

Putar: Quite possibly.

Hari: But our politicians in India often don't wear suits. What's going to happen to their security requirements? I suppose they'll have to choose between safety and comfort.

Putar: What do you mean, Papaji?

Hari: The time the politician needs to wear bullet proof clothing is when he is addressing a gathering, where someone may take a pot shot at him.

Putar: Or throw shoes at him.

Hari: Of course. Although bullet proof vests won't stop that from happening. And you know India is such a hot country that it's very uncomfortable to be wearing a suit. So they'll have to choose between safety and comfort.

Putar: Not necessarily.

Hari: What do you mean?

Putar: They can wear bullet proof kurta-pajamas. According to this news report, Cabellero is coming to India, in partnership with Discrete Inners, a Delhi-based company. Its owner Shivani Nath told Hindustan Times: 'Caballero is going to be in India on March 12 and 13 to announce his plans.' The collection will include bullet-resistant kurta-pyjamas. Nath said the line would cost from Rs 30,000 (for a vest) to Rs 2 lakh and more (for more evolved clothes: jackets, T-shirts, collared shirts).

Hari: What about our female politicians?

Putar: Cabellero can try to design bullet-proof materials to be worn under the sari, I suppose.

Hari: With a sari it will be difficult. Don't forget the stomach is exposed.

Putar: Well, they'll either have to cover the stomach or the ladies can also wear kurta-pajamas.

Hari: It may not suit everyone.

Putar: Salwar-kameez then.

Hari: That will be the solution.

Putar: Salwar-kameez is uncommon attire in the South or even in say West Bengal.

Hari: The ladies can tell their voters that they are trying to promote national integration.

Putar: Tell me something Papaji?

Hari: Bol, Putar?

Putar: Cabellero will soon be supplying politicians the world over with their designer bullet-proof vests.

Hari: That's what you tell me.

Putar: And they are probably already supplying drug barons in Columbia with bullet-proof clothing. Some of their clients may include leaders of crime syndicates.

Hari: That's true also.

Putar: So this means that politicians and criminals will be seen to be wearing the same brand name?

Hari: True.

Putar: Is this because they are both tailored from the same cloth ' as the expression goes?

Hari: I don't know, Putar.   

08-Mar-2009

More by :  Rajesh Talwar

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