Nov 30, 2023
Nov 30, 2023
A precocious second grade class is given homework by the teacher. The assignment is difficult and the children ask myriad queries. The teacher patiently answers them and then defines the assignment parameters. She tells the students that the ingredients of any good novel are religion, sex, morality and royalty with liberal doses of scatology.
There were eight students in the class. Let us call them A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I. This is a magnet school and all students don't feel obligated to do homework. On the due date, only "A" has written a novel. She reads it aloud, Holy s--t, said the princess, Pregnant again, is it proper and whodunnit?
Now those who had not done their homework were asked to give their critical input, instead of being expelled from class, due to prevalent post-modernistic tolerance for individual mythology. Who knows what unintended discrimination they experienced in their prenatal state, when they did not have the capability to appreciate the inherent bias of the established power structures that pre-existed their birth?
This is not some flimsy argument about inconsequential absurdities like healthcare. We are talking about the fundamental right of every American to be brainwashed with his or her own freely selected designer brand of unadulterated hogwash, which the great founding fathers wrote into the confusion of the bill of fights and other amazements, so that every American would not ever lose his or her inalienable, fundamental right to be duped or bare arms or other parts, as an expression of freedom of speech.
We now come to the class discussion.
"B" like the rest of the lazy guys has not made any effort to do homework, speaks up, It is gripping. "C" says, It is a masterpiece.
"D" after hemming and hawing says, What was his childhood like?
"E" says, Does he have angst?.
"F" sagaciously says all this is irrelevant, but if he had killed instead of impregnating, would he have deserved the death penalty?
Who cares about the death penalty, you stupid monomaniac, says "G", the critical issue is
when this hypothetical woman was pregnant, did anybody offer her a choice of abortion?.
H, thoughtfully quips, in this world of victims, are we dealing with a saint or a martyr.
"I" said, I think that the interplay of emotional instincts, and the cross cultural interrelations, reflect the symphonic melding of independent dark and light tones of human nature.
Tempos Fugit. The teacher became secretary of education, "A" became Fucquelynn Faartlund, a successful novelist of trash and contemporary literature, "B" is a major editor at a prominent publishing house, "C" is the CEO of the same publishing house, "D" is the bullshit professor of psychology at a prestigious university, "E" is the president of Wasting institution, an ethical
fink-tank, "F" is the president of a nonprofit organization called Citizens for Personal Non-
responsibility, "G" holds the endowed professorial chair on destructive feminism. "H" is the professor of post-modernistic and deconstructed focal matter and holds a second appointment in subjective convenient misinterpretation at an elitist university for polluting education. "I" became the most prominent critic of America.
I know how much we all are naturally addicted to something or the other and above all to unambiguous endings, so I want to let you know that "A" to "I" lived unhappily ever after, in blissful ignorance and complacent stupidity.
More by : Gaurang Bhatt, MD