Random Thoughts

A Serious Analysis or An Absurd Solution

Now is the time for evaluating the reasons and the antidote of this horrible act of terrorism. It does no good to use words to paint false pictures, nor to incite the prejudices, bigotry and cruelty, that is innate to all human beings of every ethnic background. We have grieved and wept for those unfortunate people, who were simply trying to make a living, with no remote intention of harming others and yet their innocence did not save them and their ignorance led to their demise, without even the faintest idea of the cause of their plight, not that its knowledge would have justified the immoral and unjust behavior of the fanatic perpetrators of these dastardly deeds.

We cannot wish away facts, and ridiculous lies will only lead to repeated disasters. The behavior of the terrorists is despicable and worthy of many pejorative adjectives, but cannot be called cowardly by a president and commander-in-chief with a truly invincible air force, who showed conspicuous lack of courage by prudently running away and having spin doctors weave posthumous excuses for lack of courage and presence of mind. All that was required is to scramble some jets and a proper escort to land at a different airbase in the general vicinity of the capital, to throw any potential still remaining terrorists off his track. It is also necessary to not don a Texas cowboy hat and pack the big guns, until the western aid workers have left Afghanistan. It is even more crucial to communicate to the American public that any retaliation could be costly in terms of casualties of the military personnel and civilians. Finally instead of sweeping the truth under the rug, it is necessary to make the US population, that the apparently wantonly cruel destructive actions of the terrorists arise from their perception of reality, however ill conceived it may be.

The story of Valmiki is critical for the understanding of the American people, for it spells out their dilemma in the most simplistic fashion. 

Valmiki was a robber, who sustained himself and his family by robbing and killing others. One day in his introspective, self-analytical phase, he realized the sins, inequities and crass injustice, which sustained his desirable and enviable life style. He felt some remote inconsequential sense of guilt, but like any smugly self-sufficient ignorant American, wanted to distribute the guilt conveniently to others, and asked his wife and children, whether they would share the guilt and consequences. They rightly replied, that it was his duty to support them and if he transgressed decency and righteousness in the fulfillment of his duty, it was an unpardonable sin, which they had no obligation to share, and if his immoral, expeditious behavior caused any sin or unhappiness, he alone would be responsible for that too. Now Valmiki was a man newly cursed with guilt, conscience and decency, three qualities rare amongst American politicians, so he renounced everything and changed his ways, as his family was unwilling to bear the consequences of his sins and were willing to lower their standards of living.

The reasons for the behavior of Bin Laden et al are:

  1. The persistent ill treatment of Palestinians by the Israelis, which currently cannot be excused even in the light of the prior overt intentions of most Arab states of destroying the state of Israel. The unstinting blind support of Israel by the US, which allows Israel to take an unrelenting hard line and while it maybe an informed, thoughtfully considered or politically expeditious choice by us, it is a prominent target of Arab anger and just as the Nazis made Jews the scapegoats of their post world war one plight, The Arabs and Iranians consider USA the prime cause of their current miseries with far greater justification in the case of Iran.

  2. The propping up of monarchies and despots, who are out of touch with their own populations for the uninterrupted supply of relatively cheap oil and punishing the average Iraqi, who never got any of the benefits of the wealth, but bears the brunt of privation, disease and death.

  3. The imagined desecration of Moslem holy places by the infidels, which is enough to incite these nouveau reverse crusaders to the same mad fervor and insane cruelty, which only religion can generate. 

  4. The basic flaw of a religion invented by an illiterate man for illiterate persons not given to thought or doubt. This is what allows some born again preacher to prey on the current misery of some poor ignorant fool desiring a heaven of unlimited never aging beautiful women to enjoy. He irrationally sacrifices his life because he has nothing to look forward to in this life and is stupid enough to believe that his suicidal act is a holy one and there is not only no sin in it, but he will get an endless supply of nubile women for conjugal pleasure. Only an illiterate, unsophisticated, unintelligent but manipulative prophet could have conceived such a heaven and such a religion.

Thus you have your saltpetre, sulfur, charcoal and a flame and the willful blindness of the Arab population to see their own fault and the woeful inability to unite, resist and change the rule of their self-serving despots. There is a historical precedent in the British rule over India which lasted nearly two hundred years with Britain being four months away by sea and never more than approximately hundred thousand British lording it over hundreds of millions of Indians. 

Under identical circumstances, the colonies gained their independence in their first insurrection and conflict. The US has the might, money and technology and all the wherewithal to blow these puny irritants to smithereens, but do its citizens have the will and the genius as defined by Cardinal Neumann, the capacity to take pain. I think it is not an unreasonable response to hit hard and as and where needed, for turning the other cheek will get only another slap.

Another absurd solution is to pass a new constitutional amendment, whereby we come to terms with all would be terrorists and have them bid on E-bay on a weekly basis on the life of elected officials or buy lottery tickets. State and local officials would be like the daily number or pick five, house of representatives could be auctioned or raffled twice a week, senators once a week, vice-presidents annually and presidents every four years. I think we should lobby our elected officials to pass this amendment to our constitution and this would bring some interest to the apathetic voters and make politicians lives full of thrills. Of course the terrorist must take a solemn oath never to target the common citizen or property and to give elected officials a sporting chance, they would have to be bagged only in their respective seasons lasting twenty-four hours. Why the British may even take up this sport to replace fox hunting! 

The revenue generated and fringe benefit expenditure saved could be used to pay for prescription benefits for the elderly or shore up the social security trust fund. I have not the slightest doubt that once this idea is fully explained to our altruistic elected officials they will jostle one another to be first in line to be the potential targets of terrorists for a limited time for the well being of their constituents. The average Joe Blow and Jane Doe will be immediately whisked away to a secure unspecified location at a nuclear bombproof facility in Airforce one after two stops of their choice. 

When all these facts are understood by the elected officials, they will definitely amend the constitution to accommodate this lottery of new types of term limits and thus peacefully resolve this crisis of the nation in a truly Christian fashion and thus show the world that these fanatic terrorists are but paper tigers.

My fellow Americans, I have laid out the situation in clear detail and given you the various options available to us, now it is for you to retire to separate conference rooms with your own focus group and give us the wisdom of your guidance, so we can steer the ship of state to shoals er-I mean shores.

God bless!  


More by :  Gaurang Bhatt, MD

Top | Random Thoughts

Views: 3423      Comments: 0

Name *

Email ID

Comment *
Verification Code*

Can't read? Reload

Please fill the above code for verification.