Shradh* of a Townie Politician

An obscure politician of an equally obscure town died of a mysterious illness. People say he had the dubious distinction of being first victim of AIDS in their town. Since it is not something to brag about or take political advantage of, so the whole episode was hush hushed. Today is the shradh of this politician died exactly one year ago.

A rival politician rose and roared at the mike “Ram khilavan was a very able leader, we had known each other since 1947”.  Somebody pointed out and reminded the speaker that how could that be possible when only last month in a youth conference he had stated his age to be 35 years. The speaker appeared calm and unruffled and said “what to talk of 1947 in fact Ram khilavan often used to say Kisan saroop we are related from previous birth. These are matters of heart, you see, we were like two souls in a body Like two bodies but one soul. During last Assembly election when his deposit was forfeited he opened his heart and cried on my shoulders Kisna I have lost. Defeated by the feudal system, by this globalization ..I had borrowed deposit money from you…say when do you want your money back? I consoled him and behooved… is there any difference between your money and my money. What are few thousands between friends? Please do not mention it again. True to his words he never mentioned it again.”

“Last year we had gone to Nasik, leaving us to take holy dip in Godavari, he went to Mumbai to discuss important issues with Balbir Pasha. He wanted to closely study Arabian Sea so that water could be brought to our villages for irrigation of drought ridden fields. After a week he returned from Mumbai puking blood. He was not the same Ram khilavan. He was a sick man, uttering incoherently and soon breathed his last.

We want CBI probe into his death but Government is not listening and adopting delay tactics. They say CBI is overworked thanks to scam after scam. Our demand is simple we want a thorough inquiry into the circumstances leading to the mysterious death of Babu Ram khilavan. We want those responsible for Ram khilavan’s untimely death be brought to book and hanged so that no other man is manhandled in Mumbai. Mumbai belongs to us all. If milkmen are outsiders so are salesmen, delivery boys, clap boys, lightmen, businessmen, cameramen and now even fishermen. If they are all driven out from Mumbai who will be left in Mumbai.

Taking out Ram khilavans and kisan saroops is not all, you have to take out Big B to badshah, Preity to Rani, Kamaths to Kokilaben, Shahid kapoor to Shakti Kapoor. All the Singhs, Kumars, Pillais, Sens, Reddys - please move over aapla maanush is coming to reclaim aamchi Mumbai. If you really want to see the sea change and see clean Mumbai fix 1947 as cut off year and then see Mumbai really getting ‘cleaned’.

One last thing has any one succeeded in putting back the clock. “So dear brothers and sisters! please send me - your own kisan saroop - to Delhi in the next election. I will show Delhi how forceful is the voice of the people of Sitapur. We may be residents of Sitapur but we are not helpless like Sita Maiya. Had I been there you think any terrorist would have dared to enter Parliament House…?

You people are innocent. You are unaware of the crisis hovering on the country. They killed our deer, lions, tigers, we kept quiet. They chopped our trees, we didn’t say a thing. They sold our holy river water in bottles we didn’t utter a word. Now enough is enough. We will not tolerate any more. Can you be so simpleton as to believe that America will not attack us after Iraq? No. History testifies that all aggressors Alexander to Babar to present day terrorists all are coming via same route. We have to close down this route first.

If you desire that USA should not attack and occupy our motherland please vote for me your own Kisan saroop. Have you forgotten just 30 years back USA had deputed its seventh fleet to Indian Ocean to bully us. That was the time when I had led a delegation to Delhi hearing this out sailed the seventh fleet never to show up again.

So if you want prosperity, a house, a computer, a cell phone for everyone please cast your valuable vote in my favor---your own kisan saroop. I want to serve you. Remember we have to vindicate the death of Ram Khilavan bhaiya.” Long live…. Ran khilavan Long live …..Kisan saroop, Our leader …..Kisan saroop.    


More by :  Ravi Pipal

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