Dec 02, 2024
Dec 02, 2024
Part of growing up is learning what memories to keep and which ones to let go of for one’s internal peace. Here is one that once cropped up suddenly in the form of an aunt. There had been the silence of strangers between her and our family for decades.
It made me wonder.
Can she have changed so drastically? After decades she sweeps back into our lives and wants all forgiven. What is there to be forgiven? The ones she hurt, those she believes hurt her have all passed, gone from where they cannot return to justify their actions, their behaviour.
We were too young when it all happened. Too immature to fully comprehend who was at fault. As we grew, the past was never discussed fully and for most part we remain ignorant of the circumstances that created the chasm between her and the family. Bits and pieces gleaned from eavesdropping upon conversations or from the little our elders chose to reveal to us cannot be the basis of judgement. Not when we are naturally inclined to believe those close to us who have not lied in other matters.
And yet...after all these decades does it make sense to hold a grudge that isn’t even ours? Should our generation continue living the hate narrative of the family? Then again it jarred to be singled out for special attention and affection from her. It was the unexpectedness of it. She had chances before to express her feelings for me. But she didn’t. Much earlier when her younger son met some of us by chance and realised that the ‘aunt’ he felt drawn towards was his father’s sister, closeness grew between them. He visited her often and the long lost relationship began to blossom. Then his mother applied brakes on him widening the distance they had tried to bridge.
Why then should I trust her now is what I kept asking myself. It isn’t easy. Then again I argued, why should I not give her the benefit of the doubt? All those who could corroborate or counter her stories are no more. Is that the reason she is trying to find favour with us? My mind oscillated between these states. Strange are the vagaries of the mind!
Then she dropped the bomb! She was only interested in the ancestral property and wanted a share in it!