Learn To Manage Anger

1. Don't Bottle It Up. If you feel irritated, talk to somebody whom you trust about your feelings and reactions when they occur. This reduces tension. By expressing irritations, you can avoid a buildup of anger that might end in rage or an explosive outburst.

2. Own Your Feelings. Claim your anger and do not blame others for your feelings. Say "I feel really angry when..." and not "You make me angry." Accept that it your own beliefs and not other people that make you feel angry.

3. Judge Your Level Of Anger. Be aware of levels of anger, from mild irritation to blind rage. Notice physical changes, from slight muscle tension to rapid breathing, increased heart rate, trembling, and feelings hot and flushed.

4. Understand The Causes. The main causes of anger are  rigid beliefs. Examine your "Shoulds," "Oughts," and "Musts." How rigid are they? The more flexible your beliefs, the less likely you are to feel frustrated and become angry. Ask yourself if the situation is triggerimg feelings from the past.

5. Physically Express The Feelings. Relearn some childlike actions for diffusing tension without hurting others: stamp your feet, hit a cushion, scream and shout. If you cannot vent your anger spontaneously, it may come out in other inappropriate ways...on the road, kicking the dog, or shouting at the children.

6. Forgive. After you have expressed your anger, try to wipe the state clean, forget the incident, forgive and move on. If you have overreacted to the situation, apologize. Accept and understand the anger in others. Are you taking it too personally? We are all imperfect humans struggling to manage complex emotions.

More By  :  Dr. Chetan Chopra

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Comments on this Blog

Comment There are no varied reasons for getting angry.
There is but only ONE reason
and that is Non Fulfillment of Desire

Roy D'Costa
29-May-2010 00:16 AM

Comment The reasons why we get angry are varied. ...Feeling hurt...when our feelings are hurt it is easier to get in touch with anger at the person who has just emotionally wounded us than to acknowledge the hurt...
Feeling Betrayed...the feeling of having been betrayed hits us to the core and again the instinctive response can be one of anger at the person who betrayed us.....
Feeling Embarrassed...responding with anger becomes a way of covering up what one is really feeling.
There are many more causes for anger.
Learning to understand what makes one angry goes a long way towards finding solutions to managing ones anger.

28-May-2010 17:30 PM

Comment Dr. Chopra, how about first identifying, why does one get angry?  What is the real cause?

Suman Gill
28-May-2010 14:57 PM

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