1. Don't Bottle It Up. If you feel irritated, talk to somebody whom you trust about your feelings and reactions when they occur. This reduces tension. By expressing irritations, you can avoid a buildup of anger that might end in rage or an explosive outburst.
2. Own Your Feelings. Claim your anger and do not blame others for your feelings. Say "I feel really angry when..." and not "You make me angry." Accept that it your own beliefs and not other people that make you feel angry.
3. Judge Your Level Of Anger. Be aware of levels of anger, from mild irritation to blind rage. Notice physical changes, from slight muscle tension to rapid breathing, increased heart rate, trembling, and feelings hot and flushed.
4. Understand The Causes. The main causes of anger are rigid beliefs. Examine your "Shoulds," "Oughts," and "Musts." How rigid are they? The more flexible your beliefs, the less likely you are to feel frustrated and become angry. Ask yourself if the situation is triggerimg feelings from the past.
5. Physically Express The Feelings. Relearn some childlike actions for diffusing tension without hurting others: stamp your feet, hit a cushion, scream and shout. If you cannot vent your anger spontaneously, it may come out in other inappropriate ways...on the road, kicking the dog, or shouting at the children.
6. Forgive. After you have expressed your anger, try to wipe the state clean, forget the incident, forgive and move on. If you have overreacted to the situation, apologize. Accept and understand the anger in others. Are you taking it too personally? We are all imperfect humans struggling to manage complex emotions.