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I Remember 9/11/2001
- The Musings of a Disturbed Teenager
|by Rhituparna Chakraborty|
Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, Under Pressure ...
I remember vividly waking up to the news of 9/11 in the year 2001.
I was home in Kolkata, broad daylight flooded outside and the sky looked a brilliant blue from my window. Looking above I could see an occasional loner cotton cloud floating past in a leisurely pace. The air was crisp heralding the local festive season in a few more weeks. The daily routine of studies was happily forgotten, and the new globalization had taken over the household kid, namely me. Regular doze of the tacky soap ‘Dallas’ had begun to be aired. The globe seemed in my grips, when I was fed with regular airing of Music TV and Fashion TV. I was hooked on to Michael Jackson, Madonna, and the lyrics from Guns and Roses, Pink Floyd, Freddie Mercury, and David Bowie, just to name a few. Now looking back, I feel a part of my DNA was formed in those care free years. That’s when the big gaping hole of horror also attached itself into my DNA on the morning of 9/12 when I watched the previous day’s news unfolding.
Honestly at first, I was very sure that the images aired on the screen were from the video I saw many times earlier on MTV – ‘Under Pressure’ by Queen. It took me a real half minute to realize that it is not the song being aired in the news channel, but a real horror story that had unfolded when I was fast asleep in my bed, in some remote corner of the world.
I don’t remember exactly what I had felt once the impact of the news caught me. I only remember holding my stomach and walking slowly towards the bed and sitting there and staring unblinkingly at the television screen.
Being so far away, being so unfamiliar to the trauma that people must have gone through in that terror strike, I remember having a wondrous dark feeling of déjà vu, the feeling having kept returning to me for many years and years after, and haunting me many times even now. (Today I have thought of penning down this feeling, as a therapy, to be able to uproot this for always from my mind).
It was uncanny, how a gawky teenager could only think of a song while having images of real horror unfold before her eyes on a screen, how is it possible that she was slowly humming the lyrics of ‘Under Pressure’ while hearing the horrific news. How can a song recorded way back in early 1980’s by Queen and David Bowie be in the mind of that girl from India who had never set foot outside of her country? I still remember humming those lyrics, repeatedly like a broken gramophone record, till my head felt it would burst:
In my re-occuring nightmares, I visualize a scene vividly, more so during the traumatic anniversary moments of 9/11.
My thoughts disturb me. Was it this ways that the horrific idea was born? If it could dwell in the mind of a teenage kid sitting in far flung India, why can’t it take birth in the minds of terror outfits in far flung Afghanistan? I shiver in silence and repeat play the video over and over again on my computer, till my eyes turn red with fatigue and burn with sleeplessness.
Video embedded from Youtube.com
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