Parenting-A bliss

Every child born in this world is a new thought of God, an everlasting and shining possibility.” What is needed is that parents need to have faith to decipher its secret code, so that they are able to perform their role in its development and evolution. Every child is unique. Right parenting recognises and brings out that uniqueness. For that they have to lean to respect the child. You can not know a person without respecting him. –  American educationist and story-writer for children Kate Wigin (1856-1923)

There is no experience like having children. That’s all. There is no substitute for it. You can’t do it with a friend. You cannot do it with a lover. If you want to have the experience of having responsibility of another human being, and to learn how to love and bond in the deepest way, then you should have children. You would not have missed that experience for anything. Even though there is a painful price to pay. You have to leave them.

We need others when we are young, we need others when we are old; we need others in between too.It has to be accepted that there is so much of prolonged agony and pain- in experiences with one's offspring that had sense of fulfilment not achieved through parenting, life would have been much more difficult and uncomfortable – Tuesdays with Morrie

Newborns need intensive parenting and care for an extended period. As an incidental consequence the parents have to bond intimately to ensure that their genes are transmitted to and represented in the next generation. This lays the foundation of a family

A human child takes more than a year even to gain control over the movements of its limbs. Tool based complex system of obtaining food does not allow a human child the ability to gather food for quite some time. Even after that, it needs care, training, education and monitoring for nearly two decades or even more. This period has increased even further with advances in education. technology and culture.

Parenting ensures that your genes are represented in the next generation. It is reproductive success. Achieving reproductive success is the motivation of organisms.

Parenting ensures that the young are taken care of. Parents have the proclivity to invest in the act. It is a very complex, prolonged and intense bonding. Parenting is a bliss only because raising your children gives you a sense of fulfilment through it.

In the mad rush to secure success and prosperity in the present consumerist society parents resort to programming their children. They do not take into consideration that every child is unique. A child has to be respected. Its uniqueness has to be understood and provided suitable environmental inputs. They are Magical parent — Magical children. Play not programming is the key to optimising the learning and performance of infants and children. Children need parents who can playfully foster the curiosity, creativity and wonder that accompanies the children into the world.

Parenting is helping your children reach their potential.

You have to be aware that it is absolutely not true that you are the same parent for all of your children.. Your second child is not the clone of your first first child. The same things are not happening in your world that happened when your first child was born.

Parenting is a spiritual experience. It ensures your presence in the next generation. In the words of Tagore, For a believer, it is divine involvement. I visualise all the organisms as the children of God. Landlord of a large field distributes the cultivation of crops to several tenants. God chooses parents to raise the next generation.

Allotment of resources at your disposal to the next generation is parenting. A middle class person faces a dilemma. Resources at his/her disposal are found to be limited . Parents and their children are claimants to it. Question of equitable allotment between themselves and their children arises. In case of scarcity the dilemma of preference is faced.

Parenting in the initial stage means helping in getting acquainted with the uniqueness and bliss of each child and then investing in nurturing it. You need to learn to respect the child. It may seem odd. We are programmed to love a child, but respecting a child isa tall order. Respecting means recognising that a child is a unique person. You have to discover his/her uniqueness and then devote yourself to help it express and flourish.

Parenting helps in developing these traits. Making him/her feel that he/she is loved and cared for.

Parenting has been a full time defining experience for me. I had a strategy. A wise man has observed, ideally allotment of resources between parents and children should be such that both grow simultaneously, but given the paucity of resources at our disposal we faced a dilemma. It was to make a choice - Either you grow or your child will grow. It was a difficult situation. My sincerity and commitment were at stake. I put myself under a scanner Whether I was feigning sincerity! My task was made easy by my children. I observed the evidence of rare possibilities in each of them. I thought it may be my subjective observation. To a parent his/her child is exceptional. But then I carefully checked. My observations were endorsed by others too. I was excited. I felt blessed and tasked by destiny.

The wise option was to allot almost all our resources to the act of parenting. Saving grace was that this act required the involvement of both of us. So each of us would be blessed. I wanted each of them to feel special and loved. I wanted each of them to be a good human being. I wanted each of them to be capable of being responsible for himself/herself. I wanted each of them to feel assured of each other’s concern for him/her. I wanted each of them to be useful and wanted each of them to command acceptance in the community.

I wanted each of them to have a compatible life partner, one who has respect for the qualities he/she possesses and vice versa. There can be no love without respect. I wished that their spouses will be grateful and thankful to us for gifting to them such a loving husband/wife,

There was no element of sacrifice. It has been an exciting and divine experience Each step taken by each of the three energised and gave joy to us. Whenever and wherever they faltered, we stood by. every obstacle they overcame. They gave us a sense of participation and achievement together with identity.


More by :  Ganganand Jha

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