Relationships are Like Our Bodies

If you want a healthy body, you should put in efforts and time to maintain it.  Same works with relationships. A healthy relationship cannot be served to you on a platter. You have to work towards it. Give it time, nurturance, care, love - and see how it blooms...
It is like a blossoming garden. If you don't take care, it will only yield wild plants and weeds. But if you give it proper nutrition, water, sunshine, air, fertilizers and seeds of growth, you cannot miss out on the colourful flowers.
It is the same with our bodies. If we neglect, it has to give us pain.
I've felt it the times I have skipped meals. I get those hangovers of nausea and headache. But even if we take good care of our bodies with proper food and exercise regime, it will be better off but there is no guarantee that we won't suffer ill-health though chances would be less.  
In any relationship, when you can take care of your bits and your partner also knows how and when to pool in his/her concerted efforts - then it might grow to be a good one.  Though just like the health of our bodies, even after taking good care, we might feel 'under the weather' sometimes....which is what relationships are supposed to be - buoyant and not static.
We all have our Tiffs with office colleagues, friends and family members.  Every husband-wife in this world has their share of annoyances and pacifications - No relationship in this world can be free of strife. It is Impossible. But yes, the conflicts can be minimised or resolved amicably if both parties are interested to maintain the relationship despite all adversities...
If one party disagrees completely and turns off, then the grounds for divorce / annulment / separation arise because either none of them are interested to go on...or one of them is so bloody pissed off that he / she doesn't want to remain in that relationship and wants to get out of it ASAP.
So if every one of us desires a healthy relationship with our partners, we have to work towards it and avoid situations that might provoke conflicts between us. 
Relationships are all about meeting mutual needs because relationships involve two people.   If you keep doing whatever you like and your partner keeps behaving his/her way, it is never going to last.  It should involve listening to and taking care of each other's needs.
If there are hazy lines of disagreement, you should be ready to discuss a List of Dos and Don'ts with your partner.  Feel free to share what you Really want him/her to do and what you Never want him/her to do.  Same applies to you and when the discussion is over, abide by it.
If you promise to be a good person to him/her, he/she will have to try their best to be a good person to you.  It has to work both ways....
And of course, as our bodies are precious to us, some close relationships work the same way.  Irrespective of the pleasure and pain our body gives us, we cannot do away with it, we always find ways to remedy it till of course, death takes it away from us in our last moments on earth.  Similarly, in relationships that are very precious to you, even though the pleasures have been quite hard to come by...but despite the pain, you cannot do away with your friend / partner.
In those kinds of bitter-sweet relationships, always seek mutual ways in which you can work towards some optimal solution so that both of you benefit and the pain gets considerably reduced, giving way to pleasures...  Be it a source of pleasure or pain, we cannot throw away our bodies.  Similarly, some relationships in this world are so extra-ordinary, that come pain, come pleasure, we always try to preserve their bonding with us, a sense of attachment and belongingness always remains...
Even after the person dies, the nostalgic feeling of  'being related' remains with us for the rest of our lives, till the day we die.  Good Health be it physical, emotional, psychological or spiritual - one has to work towards it.
So if you want to have a healthy relationship with your friends and partners, don't just leave all the grinding to them...put in your labour as well.  God Willing, if they cherish you in their lives, they'll feel doubly motivated to do their best, if they see positive efforts from you, rather than being subject to a laid-back attitude.
Strive to Smile always....and make sure you can keep the smile on each other's face  :-)

More By  :  Aparna Chatterjee

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