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Impasse – career or household chores?

Like me, countless women find themselves in a similar predicament. We boast impressive educational backgrounds, yet we're confined to the home, tending to children and domestic duties. If it’s a choice, that's one thing. A woman who willingly stays at home has made a conscious decision and is content with it. I am not denying the fact that there is beauty inherent in being an at-home mom – husband, kids, and so on. After all, we are shaping the future generations of our nation. Who else can do it better than a mother? 

However, many women want to go out and work. Be independent and gainfully employed.  Due to circumstances or family restraints, they have no choice but to stay home and care for the house. Some stay back because of the lack of support from parents or elders in the family. But how good is it to be dependent on them? Should we rely on them in the first place? They have taken care of us. Can we ask them for more? They, too, have a life after all – can we burden them again in their old age with grandkids and household chores? 

But then thoughts such as “Who will take care of the kid after he reaches home?” or “Who will feed the little one at home and look after him when I am not there?” or “Is it safe to leave them with the maid?” haunts many women alike. All these leave us perplexed and indecisive. Or, more specifically, in such cases, the heart takes precedence over the mind! Isn’t it so? 

One close friend of mine has pointed out, “I feel bad that you did a Ph.D., and now you are confined to being just a housewife, wasting your potential. Most women do the same. I wonder why they waste so much money on studies if they have to be just a housewife. Instead, they can take some courses on culinary skills.” Many of my close people have shared such thoughts with me, too. I understand that their feelings are genuine and very correct. 

So, is there any other way for a married, educated mother to be in a happy, guilt-free space for a choice not made of free will but has to be an at-home mother since there is no other option left? Guilt – that other women are going out for work and earning, but I am staying at home, or how can they maintain the work-life balance? Or am I the only one who has turned lazy and cannot do so? Is my life just cooking three meals daily and caring for the husband, kids, and their education? What is the point of studying so much when I have to sit at home? Guilt - my parents and my spouse have supported me all through (financial and otherwise) and stood by me in thin and thick times, and yet, I cannot do anything fruitful.  Why am I unable to think beyond all this, and if I do so, why does guilt surround me? 

Dear women folk…are these thoughts just my own, or do they resonate with many others? What opportunities exist for a woman to discover her potential while at home? Can she step out of her comfort zone - the four walls of her house, and strive for excellence? Please share your thoughts… 

More By  :  Dr. A. Nivedita

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Comments on this Blog

Comment Thanks for another article and I am able to relate with this.
I am other side of the thought as I am a working mother.
My daughter is growing and at time when I am not able to give her time I have guilt of considering my work as primary over her.
I do feel bad when some neighbour say that I am carefree as her grandparents are always available. I agree that with their support I am stable in my career but as mother I have guilt of stepping out leaving my kid.
So none of the part is guilt free. While people will keep passing their judgement we only have to figure out what makes us happy and accept the decision.

Srishti Singh
08-Jul-2024 13:13 PM

Comment After reading your blog l felt like you are just sharing my perspective.I think l've regained my self confidence.Thanks for taking a stand for most of the women like us. Feeling so proud of you my friend.

Shweta singh
08-Jul-2024 12:09 PM

Comment After reading your blog l felt like you are just sharing my perspective.I think l've regained my self confidence.Thanks for taking a stand for most of the women like us. Feeling so proud of you my friend.

Shweta singh
08-Jul-2024 12:07 PM






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