I love you mama, and I want you to know.
I didn't get to tell you, but I think you may know.
I love you mama for all you have done.
I wish everyday that you weren't gone.
I didn't realize life could go so fast,
I wish it wasn't you, I wish you were last.
I wish it was me, so then you could see,
How hard it is when I cannot sleep.
I forget sometime that you can still see,
I hope I have made you proud of me.
I feel I have failed because I feel so worthless,
My outlook on life has grown less and less.
I miss you mama so much you don't know,
I wish all the time that I could go.
I know that God needed someone new,
And I know he will take good care of you.
I'm sorry life was so hard on us,
To realize how you suffered just tears me up.
It's all on me, mama, now I see,
All the things you dealt with
that I thought were so easy.
I would leave you at home thinking you were fine,
I just needed some air, I wasn't gone a long time.
I didn't realize what went on when I left,
I'm so sorry mama, I should have stayed, not left.
All the pain and suffering I'm still feeling now,
I'm so confused because I can't figure out,
How God can take someone so good and so kind,
And leave all the horrible and hateful one's behind.
Will my days get better and my nights get longer,
Will I meet someone who will take me further.
I don't know mama, but I know this is true,
No matter what I go through I will always love you.
I will never forget all the love you gave me,
And how you cared and protected me.
I wish I would have showed you more appreciation,
But now it's too late, you've gone on "vacation."
It's not fair mama I ask, "Why me?"
You always said, "Life's not fair"
and told me to see,
You showed me to see the good things in life,
But somehow I knew our life wasn't right.
You were so smart, and funny, and kind,
I just can't get your face out of my mind.
To me you were beautiful inside and out,
And everyone you met soon found that out.
Your laugh and your smile
I miss more than the rest,
You even smiled when I didn't do my best.
I'm sorry mama this happened to you,
I want to make you proud, I promise I do.
The pain will slowly fade from others,
But the pain inside me only gets stronger.
I hope my friends know how lucky they are,
They see me now, how my life is scarred.
I know how lucky I am to have them,
And I thank my friends and family
for where they have been.
They have been by my side
through thick and through thin,
I don't know what I would do if I ever lost them.
Christmas is coming and I don't know what to do,
It's not the same, not without you.
I feel I don't have a home anymore,
The one we once shared has evidently been sold.
What am I to do on Christmas Eve,
When I wake up the next morning
and you I can't see.
Mama Ruby and Aunt Janice will take care of me,
You see they share the same pain with me.
Even though we don't speak
of the suffering and pain,
We know we all miss you,
and do the best we can.
We do the best we can to go on with our day,
We know in our minds God couldn't let you stay.
Mama I have one more question you see,
How will I feel when I get married?
You are going to miss the best day of my life,
That's why I keep on asking God, "Why?"
What about when I have my own kids,
They will never see how great their grandma is.
But do not worry because I'll let them know,
Every detail about you, their faces will glow.
Mama I wrote this for you and others to see,
that run through my mind continuously.
I will never forget you and I love you deeply,
I wanted to make sure you heard this from me.
Life here on Earth was not all a waste,
You are just now in a far better place.
I know it's much better in Heaven for you,
I'll be okay as long as you know,
"I love you and miss you, and this one's for you!"
I love you Mama!