People think that I'm a horse because of my ugly horse face.
When I go to the track, everybody thinks that I'm there to race.
I look so much like a horse that people put a feed bag on my head.
When they watch reruns on television, they think that I was Mister Ed.
When I got sick, somebody called a vet instead of a doctor.
When she put her thermometer in my butt, I socked her.
People think that I have the mange because I have no coat.
When people buy me food, the idiots buy alfalfa and oats.
When I try to play golf, they say that animals aren't allowed on the course.
I'm getting sick and tired of telling people that I'm a man, not a damn horse!