Theme: Comedy

My Horrible Ex-Wife

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Many people defend my ex-wife but they don't know her.
On our wedding night, she shot me with a flamethrower.
Before she used the flamethrower, she doused me with gas.
I have third degree burns all over, she really fried my a*s.
Six months later, she wanted me to see the Jaguar that she bought.
But it was not a car, it wasn't what I thought.
That large cat tore me open, it really hurt as I got bit and clawed.
When I was standing in a puddle, my ex zapped me with a cattle prod.
After all of that, I'm lucky that I didn't lose my life.
These are the reasons why that b*tch became my ex-wife.


(This is a fictional poem)
Image © gettyimages.com

08-Sep-2014

More By  :  Randy Johnson

Views: 1403     Comments: 0


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