My wife makes me put up 3000 Christmas lights at our place.
We have the only house that can be seen from outer space.
When I get my electric bill, I always cuss and holler.
Those damn lights cost me over five hundred dollars.
My wife calls her relatives and they are all long-distance calls.
She doesn't just phone one or two relatives, she phones them all.
My wife sends expensive gifts to her relatives.
I'd like to shoot the person who said it's better to give.
My mother-in-law will get a Rolex watch.
But all that I'll get is a damn pair of socks.
I have to spend a lot of money for Christmas, it's pitiful how much I lose.
If you don't have to spend money for Christmas, I want to be in your shoes.