Theme: Loneliness

Nagasaki Mon Amour

There are moments when things become clear.
A night, the Pacific Ocean was,
as its name, calm; I sat on deck and listened to the heartbeat of the
ship, which seemed to beat faster
when one of the engineers opened the door
and came out on deck. I heard laughter from the mess-room
they were playing cards but I knew I would never be one of them,
I had tried, the swagger and the misogyny,
living in a world where women were either whores or mothers.
The ship was bound for Nagasaki,
which for the young crew meant little, but
I had been here before and visited a graveyard
where Portuguese sailors had died long time ago
when Japan was an unknown land.
At sixty I was a relic and accepted that. Berthed.
Walking down the gangway, I didn’t bother to look
back, didn’t shake anyone’s hand- it was dinner time anyway.
Before flying back to Europe I tried to find the Portuguese cemetery,
it wasn’t there anymore;
another relic gone.


More By  :  Jan Oscar Hansen

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