So why not end it all, they asked me, as if it were
entirely my choice: suicide is not unilateral,
but contextual like any common or garden sin.
I learnt that lesson by degrees in life, first in shock
at the sheer force of will that overwhelmed me
in succumbing to that defined to be wrong.
Contrition by definition comes after the event
like a policeman, and gives a clear perspective
on personal fault, confirms the will never to sin again.
But on the umpteenth occasion it dawned
in my sin was everything that occurred, that
my fleur du mal sprung from contextual soil.
That explained everything, exactly as it occurs,
a contextual act, where things fulfil the totality,
and in my sin, the whole world sins in me.