The More I Want

by Arushi Misra

The more I know the world...
I lose a bit of myself from the inside.
The more I know the world...
I always get a new "other" side
With everything pouring in...
I seem to be alive in a dream
Maybe this is a dream... Maybe.
I lose my self, bit by bit
Like a castle of sand on the sea-shore
Just because I wanted more
I lost what I already had

The more I try knowing myself
I see a stranger creeping inside
The more I try to hold on to myself
I seem to grab the air in my fist
The more I try to clear this fog
I always find a denser mist
The more I try, the more I fail
The more I want this wind to blow
I find myself staring at my steady sail
I seem to lose more
Than what I already have
And then "the more" that I wanted
Becomes a mirage of the desert air
The more I want myself
The person I want to be
I seem to materialize
The reflection of a hazy dream

The more I want to die
The more I seem to live this life
I try to see something beyond this "the more"
That has always scrawled up in me like a parasite
And I see a hallucinating form of... nothing
... And I find myself standing right at that point.

Suddenly I seem to withdraw my hand
That stretched far over time
To grasp beyond "the more"
The time seems to travel in reverse...
And I see the strange familiar faces
Smiling back at me and saying "Goodbye"
As if am traveling back in time
The hand snaps back with a jolt
Waking me up from a hazy dream
I find myself waking up
On the same sea-shore
Where I slept thinking "the more"...

Infinity is what I get
But the irony is...
There's not like "the more"
Nothing.

Image © Pablo Amaringo

18-Feb-2012

More By : Arushi Misra

Views: 2110 Comments: 3

Comments on this Poem

This is so so so sweet and insightful

Varun
03-Sep-2021 03:31 AM

@rupradha- thankyou so very much.... :)

caged
19-Feb-2012 22:29 PM

The more I delve into it, the more I realize what a lovely composition you have created!!

Rupradha
19-Feb-2012 13:36 PM