Theme: Ambivalence

The More I Want

The more I know the world... 
I lose a bit of myself from the inside. 
The more I know the world... 
I always get a new "other" side
With everything pouring in... 
I seem to be alive in a dream
Maybe this is a dream... Maybe. 
I lose my self, bit by bit
Like a castle of sand on the sea-shore
Just because I wanted more
I lost what I already had

The more I try knowing myself
I see a stranger creeping inside
The more I try to hold on to myself
I seem to grab the air in my fist
The more I try to clear this fog
I always find a denser mist
The more I try, the more I fail
The more I want this wind to blow
I find myself staring at my steady sail
I seem to lose more
Than what I already have 
And then "the more" that I wanted
Becomes a mirage of the desert air
The more I want myself 
The person I want to be
I seem to materialize
The reflection of a hazy dream

The more I want to die
The more I seem to live this life
I try to see something beyond this "the more"
That has always scrawled up in me like a parasite
And I see a hallucinating form of... nothing
... And I find myself standing right at that point. 

Suddenly I seem to withdraw my hand
That stretched far over time
To grasp beyond "the more"
The time seems to travel in reverse...
And I see the strange familiar faces
Smiling back at me and saying "Goodbye"
As if am traveling back in time
The hand snaps back with a jolt
Waking me up from a hazy dream
I find myself waking up
On the same sea-shore
Where I slept thinking "the more"... 

Infinity is what I get
But the irony is...
There's not like "the more"

Image © Pablo Amaringo


More By  :  Arushi Misra

Views: 1355     Comments: 3

Comments on this Poem

Comment This is so so so sweet and insightful

03-Sep-2021 03:31 AM

Comment @rupradha- thankyou so very much.... :)

19-Feb-2012 22:29 PM

Comment The more I delve into it, the more I realize what a lovely composition you have created!!

19-Feb-2012 13:36 PM

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