Comments on this Poem
|
painful and touchy..
|
|
|
Dear Nathmal Ji, somehow I forgot that creative expression of pain can affect or impact others too while in day to day routine I avoid sharing any personal or professional pain in the surroundings.
I sincerely apologize and wish you and Boloji members a very happy and colourful Holi.
Jaipalsingh
|
|
|
Dear Aparna Ji & Jaipal Singh Ji, Today on boloji screen there is a poem on"Pain" & Here it is also on "Pain".If you have to endure this perception of pain alone,then Please at least share some happiness with us all of us.For ,today is Holi.So,Happy Holi to Respected Aparna Mam & Jaipal Sahib.Thanks.
|
|
|
Dear Aparnaji,
The purpose of using 'in vain' was to make an expression of ''useless' or 'lacking worth'.
I admire time and efforts you spend on your editorial work in an endeavor to improve submissions and I would not like to suggest or do any amendment in editor's work.
Best wishes Jaipalsingh
|
|
|
Dear Jaipal Ji,
So my friend without this I'd feel empty and in vain.
This original line of yours didn't seem grammatically right to me.
Hence, I changed it to
So my friend without this I'd feel empty and insane.
You can see how "in vain" is used in these examples:
http://sentence.yourdictionary.com/vain
http://idioms.thefreedictionary.com/in+vain
http://www.reference.com/example-sentences/in-vain
If you still feel that you would like to stick to your original line, you can change it.
Cheers Aparna
|
|
|
Dear Aparnaji,
Thanks a lot for your prompt attention and editorial contribution. However, 'in vain' was perhaps more appropriate in the 4th line of 2nd stanza in the context of what I had in mind.
|
|
|
Thank you so much, Kulbirji, for being with in pain:-)
|
|
|
Jaipal Sahib,
Thanks for sharing your pain with us. Now it's not your pain - it's our pain.
|
|
|