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by Aparna Chatterjee

Not knowing you
and the feeling of love'
is this for Real?
or a mere Illusion

Intoxicating me'
weakening me
the more I try to
gather strength
the more I pray to God
and ask:
'Why Me?'

Why all over again
those pangs
of my 'forgotten' past
beckoning me?

Infatuated I was
with you'
it grew over time
I crushed it
it outgrew me'

And now I'm again
dithering'
love, lust, sex or infatuation
which need would you fulfill
of mine
wishful thinking'
lessons not learnt'

You came and went
once before
and you are here
to go again'

I could do without you then
and now I could do it again
only if I would want to'

Yet the wantonness remains
the thirst undying
sucking me out, inside out'

My bruised heart
has lost its tenderness
it's hardened over time'
yet a nip from you
wouldn't take long
to make it bleed again'
Amen!

13-Mar-2005

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