Theme: Satire

Bipasha in a Sari!

[A light-hearted composition, prompted by a news item in the Deccan Chronicle. Relevant excerpts appended.]

When semi-clad state has become a cult,
Wearing a sari would be difficult.
Oh, yet they engaged Bipasha
For the sari ramp tamasha.
She would not at all feel it an insult
But some couturiere readily consult;
For if the sari would slip
And if she would trip to strip
Ah, TV cameras would exult
To turn it into a fare adult
That would raise sure tumult
And gift a free ad result
That could the diva to Hollywood catapult.

For any Indian woman of any volt,
Sari wearing is not a science occult.
There are as many styles of being dressed
As the number of dames live, with great zest.
The socialite loves to sail and float
In a diaphanous number to gloat
Wrapping it décolleté with otto sprinkle
With sequins and diamantes atwinkle.
Unlettered in this science or art,
This dark Indian woman upstart
Has become so a ‘Red’ Indian
For she can’t be a brown Indian.
“I do have in my large wardrobe
All garments including foreign and street stuff”
- A slip of tongue under the strobe!

For what she did really mean was only “streak stuff.”
Star Bipasha’s boudoir stacks a whole range of attire,
Yet with the restless sari she set the ramp afire;
And were the sari to catch a spark of fire,
Everyone would stand in line, her to hire.
Aroused, if she kicked off, in her flashy ire,
All of her costumes on to a burning pyre,
Every lad and boy, man and son, or sire
Would be on heat at once with her to wire.
No wonder Bipasha, the dimpled Indian, doesn’t know the key
To the lock of draping a sari that is very much desi.

Isn’t it voguish and de rigueur?
when you proclaim Expansively:
“I am a Telugu so tame, I speak only English,
Spanish and Hindi in that very sequence,”
Or “I am a Bengali, I know nothing of Bengali parlance
Only in, yes, only in English, Chinese and Russian I talk sense.”
Now what’s the moral so With which I am to go?
Verbal language to the literati Body language to the glitterati;
Them when you engage Like this do learn how to gauge. 

Deccan Chronicle (Apr 06, 2009) Kolkata, April 5:

Wearing a sari is so difficult for Bollywood glam girl Bipasha Basu that the 30-year-old actor and model still needs someone to help her out. “Wearing a sari is difficult. I cannot wear it myself. This is only the second time this year that I am wearing a sari,” she told reporters here after putting the ramp on fire dressed in a red and white sari from the Monapali collection at the ongoing Kolkata Fashion Week… Asked whether working in films is easier or walking on the ramp, the Bengali actor quipped: “In cinema it is easier. Here if I trip, all the television cameras will catch me. I cannot make mistakes on the ramp”. On her style statement, she said she liked to mix and match and wear all kinds of attire, “I wear everything. I have national and international stuff in my collection. But I also have street stuff.”


More By  :  U Atreya Sarma

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