Theme: Agony

Do You Know?

Do you know
That I know
How it feels
To not know
What the heart
Yearns for
And why so?

And do you know
That I do know
How you do not know
Why I don't know
That this mind
In you and me
Keeps playing games
Trapping us
In this endless charade
Of not knowing
That the heart
Knows better

But alas!
The heart
Doesn't know
How to vocalize
Those feelings of
Deep despair -
In longing and longing
For eons together
Without a care

Do you know
That I do not know
How should I tell you so
That it hurts very much
Deep down there in
My paining heart.

And there is this lump
In my throat
And those tears
I fight back
Almost every day
Because I know
That I shouldn't
Let you know
Why is it that
I keep crying for you,
Forever more

Because I know
That even if I tell you so
You would pretend
Not to know -
And go on hurting me
Just as it has been so
For all these decades
And years...

So what is the point
Of me 'knowing'
And letting you know?

Let this be a masquerade
Where you and me
Stay as strangers
Yet 'not knowing'
What is it that
Pains me so much.
And I know that
Far, far away from me,
There where you live
You too are not happy.

So let's go on bartering
Our happiness -
For propriety and posterity sake
Lest someone somewhere
Tells us one day,
Didn't you know
That love should be
Shackled in chains
Of silent restraint?

Lest people think
We had gone crazy
So much so
That we kept shrieking out in agony
In long poems and lengthy letters
And the madness engulfed us
Like a blazing inferno -
Unfettered by the dilemma
Of knowing 'not to know'
How to run away
From one's feelings
And why the need be so?
Do You Know1.jpg


More By  :  Aparna Chatterjee

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