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Been There; Not Done That
by Supratik Sen Bookmark and Share
 

Not committing suicide, despite the urge

On figures of how many beautiful people across the world commit suicide every day, I will not give you numbers because I do not trust on them. I will take ‘many’ as the sacrosanct number to start writing on a topic I have always wanted to. This article promises to talk about the steps for not committing suicide. Of late, it is a growing phenomenon that has attracted attention and concern from many quarters, including behavioural psychologists. There are countries where people go in groups to destroy themselves. Yet I am surprised at our inability to talk openly about it. Till date, we have to go to a consultant secretly to talk about our issues and concerns.
Yearning to commit suicide is a germ that’s present in every individual in varying degree. I am not an exception. However, I know I will never let the hormones overpower me because I follow certain methods. Let us quickly understand the reasons before getting on with the methods of preventing the urge.

I promise to make it as interesting as possible.

Reasons

First let us look at the reasons why beautiful souls across the world and across ages, castes, status commit suicide. I am fortunate to have most of them! People who are

  • Not successful in life
  • Successful, extremely successful in life
  • Not beautiful, handsome, sexy
  • Beautiful, handsome and sexy
  • Rich, extremely rich
  • Poor, extremely poor
  • In debt
  • Not in debt
  • Not acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers
  • Completely or moderately acceptable by friends / colleagues / peers
  • Loners
  • People’s person
  • Lovers
  • Without love
  • Fighters
  • The most timid
  • Intellectuals
  • Not intellectuals
  • Businessmen
  • Professionals
  • Authors of books on positive mental attitude
  • Readers of books on positive mental attitude
  • Dealing with sudden loss of near and dear ones
  • Yet to see deaths in their families
  • Sentimental and sensitive
  • Not sentimental and sensible
  • Toppers of colleges / institutions
  • Failures of colleges / institutions
  • Celebrities
  • The most ordinary
  • Unhappy in their married / sex life
  • Happy in their married / sex life
  • Homosexuals
  • Heterosexuals
  • Bisexuals
  • With troubled children
  • With the most obedient children
  • Thrown out of schools / organizations
  • Most accepted in schools / organizations

The list goes on…

The real reason

Interesting, isn’t it? Does the list tell us that there are no reasons to commit suicide? Please scroll up and re-read the list until you understood that there are no reasons to commit suicide. The greatest mistake people look for is the reason, either in the form of suicidal notes, or in the form of questioning the unfortunate relatives, friends to understand the reason. Urge to commit suicide is induced by some hormones [let us not be so knowledgeable as to know which hormone…just google it] which in turn are triggered from the inability to cope with our situations. So situations are not the reasons here… it is the inability to look at situations that causes the urge. Unless we understand the reason for suicide as physiological rather than emotional, I suggest readers not to proceed. To simplify with an example from the list, if not being successful in life is the reason, then there are people who are extremely successful also commit suicide. So the real reason is the germ that pushes people away from life. This germ can be controlled and eventually purged from our system if certain methods are followed. If I tell you the methods people use to commit suicide, you will be surprised at their creativity. My objective is not to show the methods of committing suicide, but exactly the opposite, to show how not to hurt ourselves.

Responsibilities do not play any role

Right in front of the dudes who’d just ended their journeys, people start judging. However, responsibilities do not play any role; whether they are survived by a child or a family dependent on them, whether they have ailing parents, pregnant wives, or have left huge debts for their families, or whether insurances cover suicides has nothing to do with the object ‘urge’ here. It is only the ‘I’ that matters to us when we commit suicide.

Methods to pause-postpone-purge the urge

I will share some of the methods I have adopted not to go destroyed.

  1. Swear words – when the question is existential, let us not ornament words with euphemism; so any swear word (especially f*ck you) functions as a very important tool. Hence it tops the list. Whenever you feel the urge of hurting yourself, this is the sacred mantra you can use. It will definitely ease you out. In order to articulate this, you can use all sorts of sign languages, like your middle finger, your little finger and shout out the mantra. Try this when you have the urge and see how it helps you.

  2. 2. Self-talk – this you would have already read in some books. But the mantra I will be sharing is unique and I trust you will not find it anywhere.

    • a. I am living in this world
    • b. My life is useful
    • c. I am brave
    • d. I am good
    • e. I know it hurts to live, but it will also hurt to leave
    • f. I am at a dead-end, I have nothing to lose, so I am good
    • g. True I wanted to die I will make this truth a lie
    • h. Hold on
    • i. Stay put
    • j. I wanted to die I wanted to die now no more now no more
    • k. If I have reasons to die I have reasons not to cry
    • l. I will live unloved, unwanted, disliked, hated
    • m. I will live like a failure
    • n. I will live like the poor
    • o. No shame, no fame, no character, faulty, guilty, silly, cunning, selfish, conceited…will not blame will not blame I do not blame…I live just the same
    • p. Love, love, love [continue this with your hands to the sky and take five rounds clockwise and five anti-clockwise, then drop on the floor]

      You would have noticed that all of these is about I, me, myself…the reasons stated in l,m,n, and o are very effective, although they are quite contrary. However, the one that is the most effective is the last one! Try that dudes I love you all because I am you!
  3. Mirroring – People who are contemplating suicide…guys how do you look…you will see a somber look on your face. Just before you are going to the railway track, if you are in your senses, just look at the mirror before going… and say ha, ha, ha thirty-three times. Repeat three times. My tenderest friends, my lovers, I wish you never go there, trust me the world is far too sexy than you think.

  4. Repeat actions – again if you are in your senses, keep on repeating simple actions. For example, switching on and off a light or fan, closing and opening a door or a window, pulling and pushing a chair or a table, opening and closing a tap to fill an empty bucket [you must listen to the sound when you do that]

  5. Playing – instead of buying rat killers or any other poison or sleeping pills, buy a ball. Go to your room and keep on bouncing the ball and count how many times you did. Target is 1000 dudes!

  6.  Heavy therapy – there are some dudes who feel very heavy when attacked with the germ. At the time, put heavier things on you, like some sofa or chair on you…keep it for some time and you will see the germ leaving your body

  7.  Quilt therapy – cover yourself with lots of quilt and lie on bed for some time..you can even go off to sleep

  8. Darkroom therapy – if it is daytime, make it dark, and keep on chanting f*ck you f*ck you and f*ck you…I don’t know of any mantra for pious people, unless you choose any self-talk from the list…you could also try saying screw you instead of f*ck you! Remember, this you can be anybody else…but the most effective you here is the germ in you that you want to kill, with vigor and skill.

  9. Walk therapy – this helps. Remember, you are not proving anything to anyone, so walk at your pace…there is no race.

  10. Cry therapy – cry, weep, sob, depress yourself as much as you can…and then say I can’t believe I wanted to die…to die!...to die?....ha ha ha ….do this after you have cried enough.

  11. Destroy therapy – depending on what method you have to choose, you can destroy the method. For instance, take a pillow and hang it….and when it is hanging in front of you, say f*ck you. If you wanted to take sleeping pills, take some biscuits, go to the street and feed the dogs those biscuits…the best method is to take some seeds and feed the birds on the terrace. Coming to jumping from the terrace…if you have that urge, go to the ground and look at the terrace, and say the mantra (by this time you know the mantra, don’t you?)

  12.  Opposite therapy – if you have the sense to understand the reason, you will see people with exactly opposite reason also have committed suicide…if you do not find the reason mentioned in the list, write your reason, and then write the opposite reason also. It helps!

  13.  Ung therapy – just at the moment, if you are not at the level of words…you cannot chant any word….just say unggggggg until you run out of breath, keep on repeating it a number of times you’ll see what happens. The moment you stop, the urge comes back ….fight it again with unggggg …repeat this and you’ll see it works like magic!

  14. Feed the poor therapy – very effective. Buy some bananas and feed the poor

  15. Flush therapy – go to the rest room, and say, I wanted to die, and flush…do it three times

  16. I am sure you wouldn’t need any anti-suicidal drugs, but if drugs are necessary, take it with doctor’s consent.

  17. Other than these, there are many ways like singing, eating, breathing, satsang, yoga, exercise, reading (anything including p*rno), and so on can help prevent-postpone-purge the urge of ending life. Methods such as these can shift our paradigm and take life head on in the way you are…don’t pressurize yourself to change…just be the way you are…you will win your way through.

No conclusion

I am a failure in every sense of the term. If you tried to find out any place or situation or a role where I haven’t failed, you will only be disappointed! However, I consider myself successful because I am still there… I know I will continue to live till my last breath and I will continue to be successful.

As failure or successful, as cherished or disliked, as beautiful or not beautiful, we do have our space and place in this world. Let people like us also live.

My message to all those who are contemplating suicide is:

Please don’t go away before you went… it is a skill worth trying: Try not to die

If you are not able to find your way, write in to me at supratiksen1@gmail.com and I will help you, not as a consultant, but as a friend who has been there not done that.

Cheers!

Image (c) gettyimages.com

4-Apr-2014
More by :  Supratik Sen
 
Views: 487
Article Comment I remember I had read this on your blog page.

A person committing suicide is actually trying to escape a difficult situation. Deep inside him/her, there, therefore, is an intuitive awareness that he/she is going to survive the act of suicide.

In other words, he/she is certain that death is not the end of life. If we can really convince those who have a suicidal bent that suicide is the complete end of everything, then no one would attempt it. We can't, because we too intuitively know the truth of our continuity inside us!

We can better try to dissuade potential self-annihilators by telling them that the problems they are trying to escape will only pester them in a worse manner after their 'death'. This type of counseling is not seen listed in your methods.
madathilnair
04/06/2014
Article Comment Thank you Padmaja!
supratik
04/06/2014
Article Comment Rdashby,

Thank you for putting in your thoughts. My only competence to write on such a difficult topic is that I have been through it....I know I will not succumb because I follow these methods.
I think we miss the issue because we try to understand people from what is written in the books. In my opinion, it is incorrect (ardh satya) to label the reason as mental....it is also physiological. While I have tried to show that mental reasons (le néant or the feeling of void, without purpose) are untrue, physiological reasons are real. Once friends like me understand that what they are thinking as the reason is not true, controlling the physical would be easier, as it has in my case.
Suggestions from competent people like you are welcome because it will help focus our attention in the area.
God?! Did you say that? Do you belong to any spiritual organisation? Please try and see if our attention to God can help. In my opinion, we have misunderstood the meaning of god, totally....otherwise followers of god would not succumb.
supratik
04/06/2014
Article Comment There is a simpler analysis of suicide. Suicide by definition is the taking of one's own life. Life is identified with truth. While we live we are constantly in affection of identifying a truth in life, and it constitutes what we call the 'meaning' in life. People who experience suicidal feelings - and the spectrum of types is listed in your article - have this in common: they have lost the meaning, even the will to live. Drastic superficial remedial action such as you propose fails to restore meaning to the person's life, lack of which is the real issue of suicidal feelings. Since God is the source of life, meaning is to be found ideally in a belief in God. Most people settle for a God-substitute in their lives, and when this becomes hollow of meaning, in whatever circumstances, then the 'reason for living' is lost; and the compulsion to suicide is a fulfilling act of this state. Suicide as a negative trend can only be tackled by a reorientation to the true meaning in life, identified as the truth in life, of which God is the source.
rdashby
04/05/2014
Article Comment Very exhaustive and well reasoned analysis! I believe, anyone who reads this will never contemplate suicide! Wish this article deserves a wider readership! Thanks Supratik!
Padmaja Iyengar
04/05/2014
 
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