If you are a full-time mom, have you ever felt that you are only living for everyone in the house? You don’t get time to do anything for yourself. You wake up in the morning… dress up kids and give them their breakfast. While your husband is still in the shower you drive them to school and come back home just in time to say bye-bye to your husband. Make beds and clean-up the house, bathe and change, cook food, and get busy with grocery, cleaners, post-office, bank, buy gifts, wrap gifts, check-up your email, write letters to relatives, write bills, make social and courtesy phone calls. Then its time to bring kids from school, give them snack, get their homework done and take them for their activity class. On way back home they want to stop at McDonalds and you have been saying “no” for the last 2 days, so you have to take them today. At home, daddy is waiting for his wonderful family. You play along and thank god for your little world. It is a daily routine…
I felt like I have no choice. Everyday there was something that needed to be done TODAY. I could not stop doing what I was doing! I thought my kids and my husband needed me and it was my duty to make sure everyone was happy. I was stuck. One day I complained, “I don’t get time to do anything for myself.” A family member laughed, “what, shopping!” My husband said, “hey! It is up to you. You should know what to do with your time.”
Yes, of course, he was right. But could I just leave housework and start reading the book, I was dying to read? May be yes, may be not, depending on what work it is and how important it is to you and your family? When I gave some thought to this idea, it really made sense. Time was the key and in essence tasks had to be prioritized in the order of importance. I just had to stop being “super-mom”. I didn’t have to be a perfect person. I suddenly felt that I could easily go for my manicure in the morning when the kids went to school and forget about making beds and cleaning up. If I didn’t make beds one day, it wouldn’t bring the sky down. I was excited and I wanted to try my new thinking, my new way of doing things, and my new attitude towards life.
What happened with me is really interesting. When I thought I have lost my freedom, I really did. And when I asked for more, it also came so naturally. I ended up finding ways to reduce my work by coordinating with neighbors and friends. I found carpool for my kids, started freezing food for days when I just didn’t feel like cooking, bought enough grocery that would last me at least 10 days, purchased more white shirts for my husband so I didn’t have to go to cleaners every week, bought postage stamps by mail and trained my kids to clean their rooms themselves before going to bed every night. Boy! I finally had time to paint my nails and do my eyebrows. I felt on top of the world. My confidence was on rise and it was only the beginning. In few months, I kind of settled down with my new calendar. My family also responded positively. My husband especially was full of appreciation.
They say life is a continuous learning process. You learn something new everyday. And it is really true. My story also taught me few things—
- Others treat you the way you treat yourself.
- If you want to do something then don’t sit on it.
- Start your mission and you will find direction.
- Life is full of choices.